Tag Archives: TV

10 Great TV dads

Last month we had great TV moms in honour of mother’s day so of course today we’re honouring all the amazing dads out there on father’s day with a post about great TV dads. I am lucky to have two awesome dads in my life – my own father, Jules and my father-in-law, Alan who are both great role models while also being an enormous amount of fun. Happy father’s day to both of you and all the other great dads out there. Read more…

10 female TV characters who kick ass

After the success of my post about female movie characters who kick ass I decided to follow up with a TV version since TV has also given us some pretty tough female characters although I would argue that we definitely need loads more. Again I am focusing on characters who physically kick ass. Read more…

My top 10 Drag Race Feuds

I promise this blog is not going to become nothing but an ode to RuPaul’s Drag Race… although that would be an honour… but I do want to do one more post  about this incredibly awesome show before I move on to other topics. Since I haven’t managed to get my hands on any of the season seven episodes I am using this as a way to deal with my desperate withdrawal symptoms. While last week was all about fabulosity, this week is all about the epic battles that went on in every season, which were just as exciting as the actual competition itself.

AlyssavsJade

Alyssa Edwards vs Jade Jolie
Season: 5
The beef
: Initially Alyssa  and Jade bonded but when Alyssa didn’t pick Jade for a challenge, Jade very quickly turned on her… mentioning that her back rolls didn’t look too “cute” in one of her outfits.
Aggression level: 2/10
Winner: Alyssa.
Benvs Darienne

Darienne Lake vs BenDeLaCreme
Season: 6
The beef: Darienne felt like Ben was a little too proud of her victories in the challenges and her bitterness soon showed. The two were forced to work together several times and it never ended well.
Aggression level: 5/10
Winner: Darienne
TatianavsTyraTatiana vs Tyra Sanchez
Season: 2
The beef:  Both of these girls kind of had a problem with everyone but none more than each other who they constantly accused of being rude. Things came to a head during the wedding challenge and carried on all the way to reunited.
Aggression level:  8/10
Winner:  Tyra

RoxxxyAndrews

Roxxxxy Andrews vs JInkx Monsoon
Season: 5
The beef: Roxxxy constantly accused Jinkx of playing the victim and making a joke out of drag not getting her comedy style of performance, criticising her relentlessly.
Aggression level: 4/10
Winner: Roxxxy Andrews

RGlasscock

Rebecca Glasscock vs the World
Season: 1
The beef: 
Never has a queen been so universally hated by all her competitors. No one wanted to work with Rebecca who was accused of relying on pretty, looking down on everyone and being unpolished.
Aggression level: 6/10
Winner: Rebecca… she never gave two shits what anyone thought of her

HeathersvsBoogers

Heathers vs Boogers
Season: 3
The beef: The self proclaimed “pretty girls”  (Heathers) banded together against the girls that decided were  less attractive (Boogers) and things soon became very high school. With sub feuds between different clique members breaking out all over the place. Eventually some peace was forged when winner, Raja, offered plus size queen, Stacey her Heathers necklace.
Aggression level: 7/10
Winner: Heathers

PhiPhiSharon

PhiPhi O’Hara vs Sharon Needles
Season: 4
The beef: Confirmed pageant girl, PhiPhi immediately hated Sharon’s unique Gothy take on drag but that didn’t stop her from taking credit for one of Sharon’s challenge wins. And Sharon certainly wasn’t afraid of criticising PhiPhi on the runway. Insults flew from start to finished and the two never developed any kind of appreciation for each other.
Aggression level: 9/10
Winner:  Sharon Needles

Laganja

Laganja Estranga vs Adore Delano
Season: 6
The beef: Although Laganja and Adore arrived as friends things soon turned sour. Laganja somehow took offence to something she thought that Adore maybe said that she couldn’t remember but really it was more about the fact that the judges loved Adore and didn’t get Laganja’s bizarre way of talking. It probably didn’t help that Adore called her out on it. #yesgawd
Aggression level: 1/10
Winner:  Adore Delano

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Courtney Act vs Joslyn Fox
Season: 6
The beef:
Joslyn idolised Courtney until she had to work with her at which point Courtney broke Joslyn’s sweet little heart but constantly, bluntly criticising her, even referring to her as a cut price Courtney Act
Aggression level: 3/10
Winner: Courtney Act

CocovsAlyssa

Alyssa Edwards vs Coco Montrese
Season: 5
The beef: Coco and Alyssa go way back after Coco had to take over Alyssa’s reign as Miss Gay America when Alyssa couldn’t fulfill her obligations. They hadn’t spoken for two years and there was no love lost when they found themselves once again competing. The two constantly ended up having to work together and the fur flew on several occasions ending in an explosive lip sych for their lives.
Aggression level: 10/10
Winner:  Coco Montrese

My top 10 flawed TV geniuses

Recently I have become a bit obsessed with The Bridge, a Swedish/Danish crime series that features a detective called Saga Noren, who may or may not have Asperger’s syndrome and is able to see connections that no one else can… but she’s also a bit of a social challenge. Watching Saga’s unusual behaviour onscreen made me think of some other genius characters I love who have… issues… and so this rather unusual list was born.

SherlockSherlock Holmes
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Show: Sherlock (2010 – )
Area of genius: Photographic memory, abilities of deduction
Flaws: Using others for his own purposes, destructive behaviour when bored, reveling in any crime he finds entertaining, complete lack of tact
“Sherlock Holmes: Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!”

Sheldon

Dr Sheldon Cooper
Played by: Jim Parsons
Show: The Big Bang Theory (2007 – )
Area of genius: Physics
Flaws: Seeing himself as the centre of the universe and demanding that everyone else comply
“Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn’t know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I’m sure she’ll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn’t.” 

Seven of NineSeven of Nine
Played by: Jeri Ryan
Show: Star Trek: Voyager (1995 – 2001)
Area of genius: Astrophysics
Flaws: Relating to others, being overly literal
“B’Elanna Torres: [reading Seven’s study of her and Tom from a PADD] ‘Stardate 52647, 1400 hours: Subjects quarrel in corridor outside female’s quarters. Male returns with twelve flowering plant stems, species rosa rubifolia, effecting a cessation of hostilities. Stardate 52648, 0300 hours: Intimate relations resume.’ – How the hell do you know when we’re having intimate relations?
Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck nine, section twelve, who *doesn’t* know when you’re having intimate relations.”

Saga Noren

Saga Noren
Played by: Sofia Helin
Show: The Bridge (2011 – )
Area of genius: Making connections between events
Flaws: Saying everything that pops into her head, ignoring social norms, being overly literal
“Saga Noren: Very few women fantisise about small penises.”

ReidDr Spencer Reid
Played by: Matthew Gray Gubler
Show: Criminal Minds (2005 – )
Area of genius: Photographic memory, making connections between things
Flaws: Making connections with others, being overly literal
“Special Agent Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the physics mistakes?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Special Agent Derek Morgan: Right.”

HouseDr Gregory House
Played by: Hugh Lawrie
Show: House M.D. (2005 – 2012)
Area of genius: Medical diagnoses
Flaws: Lack of empathy for anyone, excessive drug use
“Dr. James Wilson: Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.”

FlokiFloki
Played by: Gustaf Skarsgård
Show: Vikings (2012 – )
Area of genius: Boat building and just generally being ahead of his time
Flaws: Being away with the fairies, talking in riddles, taking crazy risks.
“King Horik: Floki, you have betrayed the gods.
Floki: No, King Horik. I only betrayed you.”

 Walter whitw
Walter White
Played by: Bryan Cranston
Show: Breaking Bad (2008 – 2013)
Area of genius: Chemistry
Flaws: No knowing when to stop, egomania
“Declan: Who the hell are you?
Walter White: You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name.
Declan: Do what? I don’t… I don’t have a damn clue who the hell you are.
Walter White: Yeah, you do. I’m the cook. I’m the man who killed Gus Fring.
Declan: Bullshit. Cartel got Fring.
Walter White: Are you sure?
[Declan looks at Mike and Mike shakes his head]
Walter White: That’s right. Now, say my name.
Declan: [quietly] Heisenberg.
Walter White: You’re goddamn right.”

Carrie Mathison

Carrie Mathison
Played by: Clare Danes
Show: Homeland (2011 – )
Area of genius: Intuition, making connections
Flaws: Mania, general lack professionalism, not knowing when to stop
“Carrie Mathison: [Saul and Estes question the validity of an asset’s intel] It’s not lost on me why people don’t trust my judgment. Why you didn’t even want me here.
Saul Berenson: Carrie…
Carrie Mathison: It’s not fair, I know, for you to have to be the one to decide.
[Carrie starts to cry]
Carrie Mathison: It fucked me up, Saul. Being wrong about Brody, it really… it fucked me up. Because I have never been so sure… and so wrong. And it’s that fact that I still can’t get my head around. It makes me unable to trust my own thoughts. Every time I think I see something clearly now… it just disappears.
[Carrie takes a moment to calm down]
Carrie Mathison: We have a chance to get Abu Nazir.
Saul Berenson: I know you want to think that. I won’t risk American lives on a hunch.
Carrie Mathison: And I would not ask you to. I recruited her, Saul, right here in this city. And it’s been eight years. I know… I know a lot of things can change. But I helped her through an abusive domestic situation. I practically saved her life. And I remember… I remember knowing at the time… that one day… she would be ready to leave here… and when that time came, she would be on my side. Look, the… the way I am now, I wouldn’t trust me, either. But the Carrie who recruited her… that one I believe. “

Moss

Maurice Moss
Played by: Richard Ayoade
Show: The IT Crowd (2006 – 2013)
Area of genius: Inventions
Flaws: Inability to actually take care of humself, understanding social conventions
“Moss: I wanna go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird’s all I got. That, and my sweet sweet style.” 

My top 10 TV psycho- and sociopaths

A few weeks ago I did a top 10 on my favourite movie psychopaths. This week I’ve decided to have a look at my most loved TV psycho- and sociopaths. In this case I have included some controversial choices, focusing on the manipulative aspect of characters with this particular pathology… hold on tight. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

The Master

The Master
Played by: John Simm (I’m sticking with this particular incarnation)
Show: Doctor Who (2005 – )
Psycho or socio: Definitely a psychopath
Remorse: Minimal
Killer trait: Delusions of grandeur, boldness, disinhibition
“The Master: And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all; and I thought it good.”

t-bag

Theodore “T-Bag” Bagwell
Played by: Robert Knepper
Show: Prison Break (2005 – 2009)
Psycho or socio: Total psycho
Remorse: Occasional
Killer traits: Violence, criminality and sexual deviation combined with glib charm
“Theodore “T-Bag” Bagwell: That picture makes me look like a sociopath.”

Tate

Tate Langdon
Played by: Evan Peters
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Socio or psycho: The psychopath next door
Remorse: Mostly faked
Killer traits: Criminal behaviour, violence, charm, lack of empathy
“Tate Langdon: I prepare for the noble war. I’m calm, I know the secret. I know whats coming and I know no one can stop me not even myself. I kill people I like. Some of them beg for their life. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel anything. It’s a filthy world we live, in its a filthy goddamn world and honestly I feel like I’m helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run through the streets. I’m helping to take them to somewhere clean. There’s something about all that blood man i drown it.”

Sherlock

Sherlock Holmes
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Show: Sherlock (2010 – )
Socio or psycho: Sociopath
Remorse: For a select few
Killer traits: Lack of empathy for others, heightened sense of self, disinhibition
“Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant! Yes! Ah, four serial suicides and now a note, Oh, it’s Christmas!”

Ramsay Snow

Ramsay Snow/Bolton
Played by: Iwan Rheon
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Total psycho
Remorse: Zero
Killer traits: Violence, charisma
“Ramsay Snow: But you already told me everything, remember? Your daddy was mean to you. The Starks didn’t appreciate you. One can admit, the Stark boys. They’re still alive. Wouldn’t that be a hunt to remember. You failed, but I’m a better hunter than you. Now, how about your little finger? You don’t need that for much do you? No? Good! Let’s start with that. You’ve been wondering why you’re here, how many, where you are, who I am, why I’m doing this to you. So, guess! If your right, I’ll tell you, by the old gods and the new, I swear it. You win the game if you figure out who I am and why I’m torturing you, and I win the game if you beg me to cut off your finger.”

Lily

Lily Tucker-Pritchett
Played by: Aubrey Anderson-Emmons
Psycho or socio: Little sociopath in training
Killer traits: Manipulation, lack of empathy for others, charm, meanness
Remorse: Only for personal gain
“Sal: Sorry you couldn’t come to the wedding, it was no kids.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: It’s okay, I’ll go to your next one.
Sal: Wow.
Cameron Tucker: She just means when she’s not a kid anymore.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: She knows what I mean.
Sal: I don’t like you.
Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [whispering] I’ll get over it.”

Joffrey

Joffrey Baratheon
Played by: Jack Gleeson
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Psychopath
Remorse: Never
Killer traits: Sexual sadism, violence, delusions of grandeur
“Joffrey Baratheon: [announcing Eddard Stark’s sentence] My mother wishes me to let Lord Eddard join the Night’s Watch. Stripped of all titles and powers, he would serve the realm in permanent exile. And my Lady Sansa has begged mercy for her father. But they have the soft hearts of women. So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Sir Ilyn, bring me his head! “

Dexter

Dexter Morgan
Played by: Michael C. Hall
Show: Dexter (2006 – 2013)
Psycho or socio: Conscious psychopath
Remorse: Constant
Killer traits: Violence, criminal behaviour, lack of empathy
“Dexter Morgan: People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.”

Delphone La Laurie

Madame Delphine LaLaurie
Played by: Kathy Bates
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Psycho or socio: Complete psychO
Remorse: Occasional
Killer traits: Sadism, lack of empathy, violence, disinhibition, charm
“Madame Delphine LaLaurie: I fairly swoon when I see the look of terror register on a handsome face. It makes me feel young again.” 

cartman-just-a-little-crack-south-park

Eric Cartman
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Show: South Park (1997 – )
Psycho or socio: Impressively sociopathic
Remorse: Only for benefit
Killer traits: lack of empathy, criminal behaviour, superficial charm, manipulation, disinhibition
“Eric Cartman: I… I can’t live like this. I have to find a place where they remove living souls from your body… “

My top ten TV bitches

It’s not surprising that some of my favourite TV characters are “bitches”. I’m talking about the ladies that take no nonsense, tell it like it as and sometimes bring a level of mean we wouldn’t be brave enough to level ourselves. More often than not it’s the bitch that steals the show and keeps us coming for me. These are the ones I love.

April-ludgate

April Ludgate
Played by: Aubrey Plaza
Show: Parks and Recreation (2009 – )
Bitch style: Utterly disinterested by everything and anything
Bitch level: 3/10
Favourite target: Her colleague, Jerry.
“April Ludgate: Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry? “

f-sookie-f

Pam De Beaufort
Played by: Kristin Bauer van Straten
Show: True Blood (2008 – 2014)
Bitch style: Blood-sucking, stone cold lesbian
Bitch level: 8/10
Favourite target: Sookie Stackhouse
“Pam De Beaufort: [to Sookie] Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chicklet memoir and now are bound together by estrogen and sisterhood or some other feminist drivel? “

game-of-thrones-films-that-controversial-nude-scene

Cersei Lannister
Played by: Lena Headley
Show: Game of Thrones (2011 – )
Bitch style: Willing to do anything for power
Favourite target: Her brother, Tyrion
Bitch level: 10/10
Cersei Lannister: [to Margaery] If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.”

original

Sadie Saxton
Played by: Molly Tarlov
Show: Awkward. (2011 – )
Bitch style: Delivering brutal slights disguised as”helpful” advice.
Favourite target: Jenna Hamilton
Bitch level: 4/10
“Sadie: If you tell anyone I’m having this soft side moment I swear I will cut you.”

 Red6

Galina ‘Red’ Reznikov
Played by: Kate Mulgrew
Show: Orange is the New Black (2013 – )
Bitch style: Rules with an iron fist and ready to punish anyone who transgresses.
Favourite target: Varies across seasons
Bitch level: 6/10
“Galina ‘Red’ Reznikov: Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, there’s the people who serve the bread, and the people who eat the bread!”

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Jackie Burkhart
Played by: Mila Kunis
Show: That 70’s Show (1998 – 2006)
Bitch style: Manipulative, spoilt popular high school bitch
Favourite target: Her boyfriend, Michael.
Bitch level: 2/10
“Jackie Burkhart: Look, Eric, just write her a letter. That’s how I broke up with Michael. I was able to take my time and come up with good synonyms for… cowardly won’t-marry-me loser, run-away-to-California jackass.”

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Wilhemina Slater
Played by: Vanessa Williams
Show: Ugly Betty (2006 – 2010)
Bitch style: Controlling, brutal and always stylish
Favourite target: Everyone
Bitch level: 6/10
“Wilhelmina Slater: Look at us! Two women of color out for a fancy lunch in the town! Isn’t this fun, girlfriend?
Betty Suarez: [laughs nervously] I guess.
Wilhelmina Slater: And that blouse is heaven! Where did you get? I love it!
Betty Suarez: No you don’t!
Wilhelmina Slater: No, I don’t. It’s hideous, like driving through Ohio.”

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Karen Walker
Played by: Megan Mullally
Show: Will & Grace (1998 – 2006)
Bitch style: Self-obsessed and mostly inebriated
Favourite target: Her boss, Grace Adler
Bitch level: 7/10
“Karen Walker: Hey I have feelilngs too you know…..
[Jack and Karen both break out laughing]
Karen Walker: Dammit, I was trying to keep a straight face.”

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Fiona Goode
Played by: Jessica Lange
Show: American Horror Story (2011 – )
Bitch style: Power hungry and completely unwilling to grow old gracefully
Favourite target: Her daughter, Cordelia
Bitch level: 9/10
“Fiona Goode: Too much? Well, I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Then here’s my other offer: You can all just die.”

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Cordelia Chase
Played by: Charisma Carpenter
Show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997 – 2003)
Bitch style: Completely self-obsessed
Favourite target: Her on-off boyfriend, Xander Harris
Bitch level: 1/10
“Cordelia: People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she’s trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing! “

Top 10 future stars for 2014 – actor edition

This week I have assembled a list of ten actors that I think have the potential to make it as A-list Hollywood stars in the future. Some of them have been around longer than others and some have had more exposure than others but I think they’re all a step away from mega-stardom as yet.

Ansel Engelort

Ansel Elgort
What makes him stand out?: The Fault in Our Stars would have probably completely bombed if it wasn’t for Engelort’s warmth and charm. He was also the only bearable thing about the Carrie reboot.
Recent standout roles: Gus in The Fault in Our Stars (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Tim Mooney in Men Women and Children (2014)
Current star rating: 50/100
“Most actors nowadays are models turned actors. That’s why a lot of young actors are terrible. You have to learn how to act. It is not something that you can just do.”

Dane DeHaan

Dane DeHaan
What makes him stand out?: He has a real intensity and isn’t afraid to take on daring, quirky roles.
Recent standout roles: Andrew Detmer in Chronicle (2012), Cricket Pate in Lawless (2012)
Interesting upcoming roles: James Dean in Life (2015)
Current star rating: 70/100
“When people recognize your work and want to reward you for what you’ve done, that’s a good feeling.”

Dylan OBrien

Dylan O’Brien
What makes him stand out?: His performance turned what would have been a mediocre adaption of a mediocre young adult nvel and made it ten times more enjoyable than it would have been without him.
Recent standout roles: Thomas in The Maze Runner (2014)
Upcoming interesting roles: Thomas in The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials (2015)
Current star rating: 20/100
“I just want to work with good filmmakers and do good projects that mean something to me and play interesting characters. That’s really it.”

ellar coltrane

Ellar Coltrane
What makes him standout?: His central performance in Boyhood was powerful enough to carry a three-hour long film that spanned twelve years.
Recent standout roles: Mason in Boyhood (2014)
Upcoming interesting roles: He’s not got anything reported coming out but I’m sure it won’t be long.
Current star rating: 10/100
“Most of what Mason goes through is very much the story. There’s not many of his experiences that are really familiar to me. But emotionally, and psychologically – I think that’s where my input and comparison to my own life came in. Even if I hadn’t exactly experienced the things that Mason was going through, there was always a place in my life that I could compare it to.

Jack OConnell

Jack O’Connell
What makes him standout?: He always gives an absolutely raw, balls to the wall, no holds barred performance
Recent standout roles: Eric Love in Starred Up (2014), James Cook in ’71 (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Toby in The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
Current star rating: 45/100
“I want to create a body of work that is entertaining and speaks to people for a long time. Longer than my life span.”

Jason Clarke

Jason Clarke
What makes him standout?: He’s an unassuming actor who draws you in with his quiet power
Recent standout roles: Howard Bondurant in Lawless (2012),Malcolm in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: John Connor in Terminator: Genisys (2015)
Current star rating: 75/100
“I can’t complain about the roles that have come my way.”

Kit Harington

Kit Harington
What makes him standout?: He probably isn’t going to be one of the great actors of our time but there’s no doubt that the combination of soulful eyes and washboard abs is a good one in Hollywood.
Recent standout roles: Jon Snow in Game of Thrones (2011 – ), Milo in Pompeii (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Billy Bradley in Seventh Son (2015)
Current star rating: 55/100
“You find with the really great actors, the ones you really admire and look up to, very often they’re very giving, generous, warm people.”

Max Schnetzer

Ben Schnetzer
What makes him standout?: He is a total chameleon and completely disappears into every role he plays
Recent standout roles: Max Vandenburg in The Book Thief (2013), Mark in Pride (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Warcraft (2016)
Current star rating: 15/100
“When I decided I wanted to go to drama school, I realized that a lot of the actors whose careers I really admire and whose work I really admire were English and English trained. I felt there was a real vocational feel to work in the UK.”

 

Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac
What makes him standout?: His brooding intensity.
Recent standout roles: Llewyn Davis in Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)
Current star rating: 30/100
“I think that when you decide to dedicate yourself to creative endeavors and surround yourself with people who are creative, you very quickly learn how hard it is to survive doing those kinds of things, not to mention make a living at them.”

Tate Langdon

Evan Peters
What makes him standout?: He stole X-Men: Days of Future Past from James McAvoy, Hugh Jackman and Michael Fassbender. That’s impressive.
Recent standout roles: Various in American Horror Story (2011 -), Quicksilver in X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Interesting upcoming roles: Unknown in Lazarus (2015)
Current star rating: 40/100
“If you get an audition and you’re out of work, you just say, ‘I’ve gotta go on this.'”

As always with these, feel free to join in and post your picks. I’ll be doing actresses next week. (Not literally, Eric).

My top 10 British comedy series

British TV has a really strong tradition of comedy, especially of the more off the wall kind, which is really quite different from US TV comedy. Being married to a Brit, I’ve been lucky enough to be introduced to a number of older shows that I probably would have missed out on because they were on before I moved to the UK. Fortunately almost all of these shows are available on BBC, iPlayer, Netflix, 4OD or Amazon Prime for you to enjoy. These are my 10 favourites.

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The Fast Show
Years on: 1994 – 2000
Starring: Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson, Arabella Weir and Caroline Aherne
The premise: A sketch show where most of the preamble is dispensed with and the punch line hits almost immediately.
Best character: Where do I even start? Probably the news readers from Channel 9.
Best episode: The final one where Johnny Depp visits the suit shop.
“Billy Bleach: She was half woman, half fish. Terrible in the kitchen, but a bloody good swimmer.”

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The Mighty Boosh
Years on: 2003 – 2007
Starring: Noel Fielding, Julian Barrett, Michael Fielding
The premise: The surreal adventures of best friends Vince Noir and Howard Moon
Best character: The Moon
Best episode: Call of the Yeti
“Vince Noir: [grabbing book] Look at this one!
Naboo: Don’t touch that!
Vince Noir: All right! Easy!
Naboo: This is black magic. This is hardcore. Don’t mess with the occult.
Vince Noir: I thought it was good for you.
Naboo: What?
Vince Noir: Well, you know, good for your digestive system.
Naboo: That’s Yakult!
Vince Noir: Oh, yeah…”

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Outnumbered
Years on: 2007 -2014
Starring: Hugh Dennis, Claire Skinner, Tyger Drew-Honey, Daniel Roche, Ramona Marquez
The premise: What makes this family sitcom stand out is that it’s part improvised so the kids say the most hilarious things
Best character: Karen
Best episode: Cousin Julie’s wedding
“Karen: How can you not like somebody you’ve never met?
Sue: Good point, Karen.
Karen: Yes, you should only hate people you know.
Sue: Ye… er…
Karen: Like Miss Braybrook.
Sue: But you love Miss Braybrook! She’s the reason you’re Christian!
Karen: Not any more, that’s all rubbish.
Pete: Rubbish is a bit harsh.
Karen: I don’t believe in God anymore, I’m a Satanist.
Pete: I think that’s an atheist. Satanists…do things to goats.”

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Peep Show
Years on: 2003 – 2013
Starring: David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Olivia Colman
The premise: Roommates, Jez and Mark are total opposites but somehow their friendship seems to survive all their terrible adventures, which we get to watch from both of their perspectives.
Best character: Super Hans
Best episode: Mark’s stag do
“Jez: There’s only so much happiness in the world and they’re hoarding it all!
Mark: That’s not how happiness works! (It completely is.)”

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The Morgana Show
Years on: 2010
Starring: Morgana Robinson, Tom Davis, Ninette Finch
The premise: I don’t think anyone but Paul and I watched this bonkers sketch show but I love ever moment of it
Best character: Gilbert
Best episode: All of them

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Coupling
Years on: 2000 – 2004
Starring:  Jack Davenport, Gina Bellman, Sarah Alexander, Kate Isitt, Ben Miles, Richard Coyle
The premise: Six friends  navigate romance, relationships and life
Best character: Jeff
Best episode: The End of the Line
Susan: Well, you know what it’s like at the start, when they’re all fiery-eyed, and eager, and they haven’t seen you naked yet. And it’s like he’s smashing at your door with his mighty battering ram. And he’s promising to ravish you forever. So you brace yourself for man overload, and throw open the doors, and what do you find standing there? An oversized toddler who wants his dinner. And before you can say, “There’s been a terrible mistake,” he’s snoring on your sofa, the fridge is full of empty bottles and the whole place smells of feet.”

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How Not to Live Your Life
Years on: 2007 – 2010
Starring: Dan Clark, David Armand, Leila Hoffman
Premise: Dan inherits his grandmother’s house and would have a great future ahead of him if he didn’t keep making such terrible decisions.
Best character: Treacher
Best episode: Don Meets His Maker
“Don Danbury: [repeatedly during sex] Can I have my job back?
Maggie: [repeatedly] No
Don Danbury: [about to ejaculate] Can-I-have-my-job-back?
Maggie: [climaxes] Yes!
Don Danbury: So, shall I start Monday morning?
Maggie: Start what!
Don Danbury: My job, you said I can have it back!”

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Spaced
Years on: 1999 – 2001
Starring: Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes, Nick Frost
Premise: Tim and Daisy move into a flat together where they have to pretend to be a couple… endless pop culture infused shenanigans ensue.
Best character: Marsha
Best episode: Art
“Daisy: Right, I’m going to the shops. D’you want anything?
Tim: Porn.
Daisy: Tim, I’m not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
Tim: I can’t, I’m an adult. I’m supposed to leave it there.”

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Blackadder
Years on: 1983 – 1989
Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson, Hugh Laurie
Premise: The adventures of Blackadder and his faithful servant, Baldrick, throughout history.
Best character: Baldrick
Best episode: Beer
“Blackadder: I seek information about a Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman… the Wisewoman.
Blackadder: Yes, the Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is… a woman. And second, she is…
Blackadder: Wise?
Young Crone: You do know her then?
Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is, incidentally, what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Young Crone: Of course.
Blackadder: Where?
Young Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of moneys… which I’m not going to give to you.”

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Father Ted
Years on: 1995 – 1998
Premise: The surreal adventures of a group of priests living together on the remote Craggy Island with their housekeeper Mrs Doyle
Starring: Dermot Morgan, Ardal O’Hanlon, Frank Kelly, Pauline McLynn
Best character: Father Jack
Best Episode: A Song for Europe
“Father Dougal McGuire: I’ve never met a celebrity before.
Father Ted Crilly: You met the Pope.
Father Dougal McGuire: Did I?
Father Ted Crilly: Yes, do you not remember that time we were in Rome?
Father Dougal McGuire: That was the Pope? That old fella living in the art gallery?
Father Ted Crilly: The Vatican, Dougal! The Vatican!
Father Dougal McGuire: Still, he’s not a celebrity in the true sense of the word.
Father Ted Crilly: He’s God’s representative on Earth, Dougal!
Father Dougal McGuire: You’d think he’d be taller.
Father Ted Crilly: You mean like a giant?”

Honourable mentions: League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, The Inbetweeners, Gavin & Stacey, That Mitchell and Webb Look,  The Office

My top 10 brown eyed actors

A lot is said about the magnetic power of blue eyes, which is why I did a post on my top 10 blue eyed actors a few weeks ago. However one certainly can’t dismiss the magic of a pair of soulful brown eyes, which is why I’ve decided to highlight my top 10 brown eyed actors.

Kit Harington

Kit Harington
Best role: Jon Snow in Game of Thrones
“[Women] have a tough job. They have to look wonderful all the time. It’s much easier for men.”

RDJ

Robert Downey Jr
Best role:  Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes (2009) and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
“A lot of my peer group think I’m an eccentric bisexual, like I may even have an ammonia-filled tentacle or something somewhere on my body. That’s okay.”

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Robert De Niro
Best role: Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver (1976)
“The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you. You’re in a conversation and everybody’s agreeing with what you’re saying — even if you say something totally crazy. You need people who can tell you what you don’t want to hear.”

Jonny Depp

Jonny Depp
Best role: Edward Scissorhands in Edward Scissorhands (1990)
“This is a rumor-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I’ve dated, then I’d say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics… or masturbation”

JGL

Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Best role: Tom in (500) Days of Summer (2009)
“I’ve had a select set of really beautiful, powerful, psychedelic experiences on certain drugs but I never got into just doing it at a party: ‘Oh let’s get f-ed up and drop acid’. That’s so retarded and disrespectful to your body and the drug itself. Mushrooms, acid and ecstasy can offer you a new perspective. They can also offer you nothing.”

Idris Elba

Idris Elba
DCI John Luther in Luther
“I’d had three or four years of unemployment, not getting acting jobs. I was watching Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes and saying, “I can do that. I can be right there with them.” My wife was about eight and a half months pregnant by the time I got the news I was going to be on “The Wire”. If I didn’t get it, I was going to leave the U.S. We knew that if I didn’t have acting work after my daughter was born we would be up shit street.”

Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger
Best role: Ennis De Mar in Brokeback Mountain (2005)
“I’m not good at future planning. I don’t plan at all. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I don’t have a day planner and I don’t have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.”

DT

David Tennant
Best role: The Tenth Doctor in Doctor Who
“I remember a conversation with my parents about who the people on the TV were, and learning they were actors and they acted out this story and just thinking that was the most fantastic notion, and that’s what I want to do.”

chiwey

Chiwetel Ejiofor
Best role: Solomon Northup in 12 Years a Slave (2013)
“I like to disappear into a role. I equate the success of it with a feeling of being chemically changed.”

Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody
Best role: Louis Simo in Hollywoodland (2006)
“I was a wild, mischievous kid and I had tremendous imagination. Any experience I had, I’d try to reenact it. I always had an actor within me.”

My top 10 doomed TV couples

So a couple of weeks ago I did my top 10 doomed movie couples… because you know, I love an unhappy ending. It turns out that there are some pretty awesome doomed TV couples too though. These are my favourites.

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Joey and Pacey
Played by: Joshua Jackson and Katie Holmes
The show: Dawson’s Creek
The obstacle: Joey and Pacey’s joint best friend, Dawson, is in love with Joey and she has old residual feelings for him. They also ultimately have incompatible goals.
“Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.
Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.
Joey: So… is this… some sort of… recent new development in your life?
Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It’s sort of always there… like… white noise, or… the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin’ you get used to.”

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Max and Logan
Played by: Jessica Alba and Michael Wetherly
The show: Dark Angel
The obstacle: Logan is literally unable to touch Max without dying
“Max Guevara: Logan, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of. It’s never been about you not being able to walk. Not for me.
Logan Cale: Will you look at us!
Max Guevara: Pathetic.
Logan Cale: Hopeless.
Max Guevara: Lucky we hooked up.
Logan Cale: Happy Anniversary.”

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Captain Jack and Ianto
Played by: John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd
The Show: Torchwood
The obstacle: Captain Jack is an immortal pansexual time traveler, who isn’t much inclined for commitment but even when he does Ianto isn’t long for this world.
“Captain Jack Harkness: How are you, Ianto?
Ianto Jones: All the better for having you back, sir.
Captain Jack Harkness: Could we maybe drop the “sir” now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking. Maybe we could, you know, when this is all done: dinner, a movie…
Ianto Jones: Are you asking me out on a date?
Captain Jack Harkness: Interested?
Ianto Jones: [scoffs] Well, as long as it’s not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself…”

tumblr_ln1zzdRwpG1qihsweo1_500“Buffy and Angel
Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz
The show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The obstacle: Buffy is a vampire slayer and Angel is a vampire, with a soul…  one who will lose said soul if he does the dirty with her.
“Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.
Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?
Angel: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly. I wanna take comfort in you, and I know it’ll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn’t care.”

tumblr_lgbbew6oWp1qbj0fio1_500Buffy and Spike
Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters
The show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The obstacle: Poor old Buffy… just after she has finally more or less gotten over one vampire she finds herself falling for another.
“Spike: Something’s happening to me. I can’t stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing…
Buffy: You don’t know what you mean. You don’t know what feelings are.
Spike: I damn well do. I lie awake every night.
Buffy: You sleep during the day.
Spike: Yeah, but- You are missin’ the point. This is real here. I love…
Buffy: Don’t! Don’t say it. I’m going. “

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Mulder and Scully
Played by: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson
The show: The X-Files
The obstacle: They work together. No one wants to acknowledge their feelings. Also Mulder is so fucked up.
“Dana Scully: This stubbornness of yours, it’s why I fell in love with you.
Fox Mulder: It’s like you said. That’s why we can’t be together… “

rose-doctor-kissThe Doctor and Rose Tyler
Played by: David Tennant/Christopher Ecclestone and Billie Piper
The show: Doctor Who
The  obstacle: The Doctor is a time traveler over a thousand years old carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, where Rose is a slightly chavvy human. They get stuck in alternate dimensions unable to be together without ripping apart the fabric of reality.
“The Doctor: Rose, you’ve done it, now stop.
[Rose stares straight ahead]
The Doctor: Just let go.
Rose Tyler: How can I let go of this? I bring life.
[we see Jack start breathing again and open his eyes]
The Doctor: But this is wrong! You can’t control life and death!
Rose Tyler: But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night… but why do they hurt?
[she is crying]
The Doctor: The power’s gonna kill you and it’s my fault!
Rose Tyler: I can see everything… all that is… all that was… all that ever could be.
The Doctor: [stands up] But that’s what *I* see. All the time. And doesn’t it drive you mad?
Rose Tyler: [Rose nods, barely able to speak] My head…
The Doctor: Come here.
Rose Tyler: …is killing me.
The Doctor: I think you need a Doctor.”

eric-and-sookie-first-kiss-sookie-and-eric-14953921-500-262Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse
Played by: Anna Paquin and Alexander Skarsgard
The show: True Blood
The obstacle: Eric is ultimately pretty evil and Sookie’s too scared that he’s going to drain her of all her tasty fairy blood.
“Eric Northman: [pulling her back] I use to think you had no sense of humor.
Sookie Stackhouse: I use to think you were made of cold, hard stone and empty inside.
Eric Northman: And now?
Sookie Stackhouse: [tender] You’re a big faker. You’re deep. You feel. There’s love in you.
Eric Northman: Only for Sookie.
[kissing her]
Lorena: [to Sookie] You don’t want Bill. He means nothing to you.
Sookie Stackhouse: [moving away] No.
Eric Northman: [pulling her to him] … This is the beginning.
[kissing her passionately]”

charles-bingleyMitchell and Annie
Played by: Aidan Turner and Leonora Crichlow
The show: Being Human
The obstacle: Mitchell is a vampire and Annie is a ghost. Mitchell has also been up to all kinds of terrible badness.
“Annie: Why did I hear those voices? The dead people? I never used to be able to do that.
Mitchell: You turned down death. No one’s ever done that. It’s like it opened something in you.
Annie: Like I’ve got a whole new skill set.
Mitchell: We should make an action figure of you.”

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House and Cuddy
Played by: Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein
The show: House M.D.
The obstacle: Mostly it’s because House borders on being a sociopath and constantly makes Cuddy’s life a living hell
“Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You don’t take vicodin because you’re scared. You take it so you won’t feel pain… Pain happens when you care. Y-you can’t love someone without opening up to their problems – their fears. You’re not willing to do that.
Dr. Gregory House: I-I-I came to be with you.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You weren’t with me. Not really.
Dr. Gregory House: I wanted to be.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: That’s not enough.
Dr. Gregory House: I can do better.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don’t think you can. You’ll choose yourself over everybody else because that’s who you are… I’m sorry.
Dr. Gregory House: No. No. No. No. Don’t.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I thought I could do this.
Dr. Gregory House: Don’t. Please, don’t.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: …Goodbye, House.”

Game of Thrones Tours AKA Abbi and Jen go to Westeros

As I mentioned in my recent Film Friday Dance Movie Marathon post, my friend Jen is visiting from Australia. Now if there is one thing that Jen and I love even more than dance movies, it’s Game of Thrones. Throughout season 4 we had a regular date to watch it together and I can honestly say the only way I got through the red wedding was with her beside me, even though she was howling like an injured direwolf throughout the whole episode. Anyway, when I found out there was a Game of Thrones tour you could take to check out some of the Northern Ireland filming locations I couldn’t resist booking it as an outing for us.

There are two options for the tour, one leaving from Belfast and the other from Dublin. Tours from Dublin cost €55 and tours from Belfast cost €50. We opted for the Dublin option because it was a lot cheaper to fly to Dublin from London than Belfast, arriving the night before and staying in the North Wall Quay Jury’s Inn, which is where the tour departs from in the morning. We are creatures of convenience the two of us.

We were met at 830 by the shiny black tour bus, although our departure was slightly delayed by some American tourists who were at the wrong Jury’s Inn. Clearly the Irish are more patient than I am because I would have left them behind.

Yes, Jen is wearing chain mail leggings...

Yes, Jen is wearing chain mail leggings…

On our way to our first stop our tour guide Dorothy told us more about how Game of Thrones came to be filmed predominantly in Northern Ireland and showed us some behind the scenes videos showing how the filming locations were digitally enhanced to create the what we see onscreen. We were also entertained with a quiz that tested our knowledge of the show. We managed to came first and third which meant that we both given the privilege of wearing appropriate gear during the first leg of the tour. Jen got a full Stark uniform where I got a cape with a badger on it… a real badger,

Hand of the Queen

Hand of the Queen

Queen in the North

Queen in the North

Those who were not lucky enough to win their outfit for the day were given the opportunity to hire full or partial outfits if they so wished. Out first stop was at Castle Ward, which forms the basis for Winterfell, the Stark family stronghold. A lot of Winterfell is digitally added but one of its main towers is part of Castle Ward and if you look carefully on the right is Tyrion’s brothel of choice.

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There are several other filming sites at Castle Ward, which are explored through a guided walk or if you don’t fancy that you can practise your archery at the very site where Jon Snow attempted to help Bran improve his skills before he was bested by Arya.

We chose to go on the walk, as it seemed the best way to show off our outfits. The location is absolutely stunning and we were unsurprised when Dorothy told us that lots of people come on the tour without knowing anything about the show just to enjoy the scenery. At each stop Dorothy showed us stills or video so we could compare the scenes from the show with the location and explained in detail how each location was used.

Audley Castle - where Catelyn found out that Ned had been beheaded

Audley Castle – where Catelyn found out that Ned had been beheaded

The spot where Jamie and Brienne came ashore in season 4

The spot where Jamie and Brienne came ashore in season 4

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Badger, Hand of the Queen, Queen in the North

Badger, Hand of the Queen, Queen in the North

After we finished our walk we had lunch in the stately home on the Castle Ward grounds, which was included in the tour. The meal comprised of delicious home made soup, sandwiches and cakes, which were most welcome because we’d worked up such an appetite from the walking.

Our next stop was the amazing ruin of Inch Abbey where Robb was declared King in the North. It is also the spot where the tree that Robb hacks at when he finds out his father is dead, but this has been cordoned off by a farmer. Guess he wasn’t enjoying the fan reenactments.

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Our final stop for the day was at Tollymore National Park, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. It definitely conjures up the concept of a magical storybook forest, which is why it was used to film several forest scenes around Jon Snow’s journey to the Wall. It’s also the place where the discovery of the direwolf pups was filmed. We weren’t the only people enjoying the park though as it’s a popular camping, walking and picnic spot.

Where the direwolf pups were found

Where the direwolf pups were found

Our journey back to Dublin went by swiftly as we got to rewatch episode one and two of season one and see many of the spots we had visited onscreen, which added to the awesomeness of the tour. Whether you are a Game of Thrones  mega fan, an occasional watcher or have barely heard of the show I would highly recommend the tour not just because it’s an excellent way to see some of the beauty of Northern Ireland in just one day but because everything is well-organised and fun and the information that is shared during the tour will definitely enhance your enjoyment of the show. Book it now!

My top 10 villainous TV couples

After the success of my  top 10 Villainous Movie couples, there was a call for a TV version. I have to say this was a bit of a challenge. Firstly, I don’t watch that much TV compared to how many movies I watch and (don’t hate me) I have a real penchant for trashy reality TV because I mostly watch TV when I don’t have the brain capacity for a film. Secondly as TV shows tend to go on for multiple seasons, couples come and go and characters grow and change and are often more faceted through their longevity. Sometimes they develop and change from becoming villains to heroes and dynamics can be vastly different from one season to the next. However, I feel like I have represented couples who at one or other time in their show had a villainous period. There are also a couple in here who are not traditional couples but you know… if you can’t cheat on your own list where can you cheat. As always feel free to join in and post your own versions.

dwangela

Angela and Dwight
Played by: Angela Martin and Dwight Schrute
Show: The Office
S
ignature crime: Ruining everyone else’s fun
“Dwight Schrute: [trying to comfort Angela] Hey, come on, don’t be sad. Just… Okay? Just… She’s in a better place.
Angela Martin: [sobbing] All right.
Dwight Schrute: Actually, the place that she’s in is the freezer because of the odor.”

barrowandobrien

O’Brien and Barrow
Played by: Siobhan Finneran and Rob James-Collier
Show: Downton Abbey
Signature crime: Framing people, spreading lies
“Thomas: Are we to treat him as the heir?
Sarah O’Brien: Are we heck as like! A doctor’s son from Manchester? He’ll be lucky if he gets a civil word out of me.
Anna: [drily] We’re *all* lucky if we get a civil word out of you.”
 harleyjokerHarley Quinn and The Joker
Voiced by Arleen Sorkin and Mark Hamill
Show: Batman: The Animated Series
Signature crime: Anarchy, mayhem, disorder
“The Joker: [halfway through the Batman vs. Joker fight] Uh, Harley, a little help here, slugger?
Harley Quinn: [to herself] Ooooo, now he needs my help, ‘less wench’ he says, ‘more hench’ he says.
[shouts]
Harley Quinn: You’re on your own, puddin’!
The Joker: That Harley; won’t kill for you, can’t kill without you!”

karenjack

Karen and Jack
Played by: Megan Mullally and Sean Hayes
Show: Will & Grace
Signature crime: Narcissism, spite and pettiness
“Karen: So that miniature pony offered you all his money just to take a few rides on him and you said no?
Jack: But I don’t like him.
Karen: Since when is that a problem?
Jack: Well played.
[pause]
Jack: I can’t do it.
Karen: Oh you’ll do it. You’ll do it the same way any self-respecting woman does. Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of handbags.”

lucretiabatiatus
Lucretia and Batiatus
Played by: Lucy Lawless and John Hannah
Show: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena
Signature crime: Political manipulation, extortion, bribery
“Batiatus: [after a new recruit is quickly killed in a test] Not every venture ends in climax.
Lucretia: A fact known well to many women.”

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Spike and Drusilla
Played by: James Marsters and Juliet Landau
Show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Signature crime: Slaughtering the innocent
“Drusilla: Do you love my insides, the parts you can’t see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That’s why I’ve got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.
Drusilla: Don’t worry. Everything’s switching. Outside to inside.”

Stephspencer Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag
Played by: Themselves
Show: The Hills
Signature crime: Spreading malicious rumours
“Heidi Montag: Honey, I’m home.
Spencer Pratt: Oh, my favorite part of the day!”

Steveandsarch

Steve and Sarah Newlin
Played by: Michael McMillan and Anna Camp
Show: True Blood
Signature crime: Religious fanaticism, brainwashing
“Steve Newlin: You know Sarah doesn’t whip out her pudding for just anybody.”

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Gemma Teller-Morrow and Clay Morrow
Played by: Katie Sagal and Ron Perlman
Show: Sons of Anarchy
Signature crime: Murder, robbery, assault, manipulation
“Clarence ‘Clay’ Morrow: What did you do?
Gemma Teller Morrow: Same thing you did. Nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Clarence ‘Clay’ Morrow: All the shit I got coming outta my ears and you go and do this.
Gemma Teller Morrow: You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Clarence ‘Clay’ Morrow: I didn’t ask her to come here.
Gemma Teller Morrow: But she’s here.
Clarence ‘Clay’ Morrow: Well that’s not my fault.
Gemma Teller Morrow: And it’s not my pussy.”

Vikings-BR-Review-05
Earl Haraldson and Siggy
Played by: Gabriel Byrne and Jessalyn Gilsig
Show: Vikings
Signature crime: Land theft
Cannot find any quotes online 😦

My Top 10 TV Crushes

I don’t normally do anything TV related but the Top 1o Movie Crushes has now spawned Top 10 TV crushes, which are starting to do the rounds and I’m expecting to see posts from Table 9 Mutant, Samantha at Sci-Fi Drama Queen and Mikey at Screenkicker along with post that Zoë has already done over at The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger. I didn’t want to be left out… so these are mine. Apparently I mostly like angry sociopaths…

Tate!Tate Langdon in American Horror Story: Haunted House
Played by: Evan Peters
Typical or atypical crush: Well Zoë fancies him too so probably a little typical
What makes him hot?: He’s so incredibly intense and dark
“Tate Langdon: What do you want?
Violet Harmon: What I wanted was you.
Tate Langdon: You told me to go away.
Violet Harmon: Yeah, but I never said goodbye.!”

SpikeSpike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Played by: James Marsters
Typical or atypical crush: Atypical
What makes him hot?: His wit and the black nailpolish
“Spike: I love you.
Buffy: Oh, my god.
Spike: Hey, no, look at me. I… love you. You’re all I bloody think about. Dream about. You’re in my gut… my throat… I’m drowning in you, Summers, I’m drowning in you.”

Spencer-Reid-criminal-minds-35844585-1024-768 Spencer Reid in Criminal Minds
Played by: Matthew Grey Gubler
Typical or atypical: Well he’s really geeky so maybe atypical
What makes him hot?: He’s so smart and he clearly needs someone to make him a sandwich
“Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think it’s weird that I knew that ballad?
Elle Greenaway: Reid, I don’t know how you know half the stuff you know, but I’m glad you do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you think that’s why I can’t get a date?
Elle Greenaway: Have you ever asked anyone?
[Reid shifts his eyes]
Elle Greenaway: That’s why you can’t get a date.

SNN0413BC2---620_1560256aSherlock Holmes in Sherlock
Played by: Benedict Cumberbatch
Typical or atypical crush: Should be atypical but everyone fancies the Cumberbandit
What makes him hot?: The smart and the hair and the voice
“Dr. John Watson: [Sherlock is wrapped in his sheets] Are you wearing any pants?
Sherlock Holmes: No.
Dr. John Watson: [they look at each other, then giggle] At Buckingham Palace!

largeLuke in Skins
Played by: Joe Cole
Typical or atypical crush: Luke is a minor minor character who only really appears in one full episode and he’s properly evil so I’m going to go atypical
What makes him hot?: He’s really hardcore and dangerous and he has this epic confidence. He reminds be of several wrong boys I fell in love with when I was young and stupid.
“Luke: You make my brain cum, my heart jump, and my prick hard.”

hydeSteven Hyde in That 70’s Show
Played by: Danny Masterson
Typical or atypical crush: Atypical
What makes him hot: His self-deprecating wit and he has that bad boy slacker thing going on
“Steven Hyde: Eric, I’ve been thinking about your problem with Donna. After hours of careful consideration, it still makes me laugh.

game of thrones - season 2 - jon snowJon Snow in Game of Thrones
Played by: Kit Harington
Typical or atypical crush: Typical
What makes him hot?: He’s all intense and brooding and you know he’s made a vow of celibacy so forbidden fruit and all that
“Jon Snow: Ygritte, you won’t win. I know your people are brave, no one denies that.
Ygritte: You know nothing, Jon…
Jon Snow: Six times in last thousand years a King Beyond the Wall has attacked the Kingdoms. Six times they failed.
Ygritte: And how do you know that?
Jon Snow: Every boy in the North knows it. We grow up learning it. Where the battles were fought. The names of the heroes. Who died where. Six times you’ve invaded and six times you’ve failed. The seventh will be the same.
Ygritte: Mance is different.
Jon Snow: You don’t have the discipline. You don’t have the training. You’re army is no army. You don’t know how to fight together.
Ygritte: You don’t know that.
Jon Snow: I do. I know it. If you attack the Wall, you’ll die. All of you.
Ygritte: All of us. You’re mine as I’m yours. If we die, we die. But first, we’ll live.
Jon Snow: Yes, first we’ll live.

david-tennant-doctor-who-431x300The Tenth Doctor in Doctor Who
Played by: David Tennant
Typical or atypical crush: Ten is definitely the obviously sexy one
What makes him hot?: Ten is quite crazy and silly but he’s also capable of being seriously tough when needed and he has such a big heart
“The Doctor: …With Martha, like I said, it got… complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate!
Donna: You’re not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want a mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, cos I’m not having any of that nonsense! You’re just a long streak of nothing!

ChristopherEccleston050311The Ninth Doctor in Doctor Who
Played by: Christopher Eccleston
Typical or atypical crush: Atypical. As the shortest running doctor Nine is often completely overshadowed by Ten
What makes him hot?: There are oceans of pain behind those eyes and he’s a bit of a rebel
“Rose: If you are an alien, how come you sound like you’re from the north?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!

alexander skarsgard shirtless true bloodEric Northman in True Blood
Played by: Alexander Skarsgård
Typical or atypical crush: Obviously typical, look at him
What makes him hot: Apart from those redonkuolous Skandi cheekbones and the washboard stomach it’s also his power, strength and brutality and the revelation that there might actually be a gentle soul under all that rage
“Eric Northman: Perhaps I’ll grow on you
Sookie Stackhouse: I’d prefer cancer

The legacy of Monster TV and how I was seduced by Sky+

Paul and I have spent the last two weeks living in Dawn and Bobby’s house in Earlsfield. Not as weird as it sounds. They were away on holiday and needed someone to keep an eye on their beloved feline companion, Boo. See below.

While Boo mostly ignored me unless I actually had her food bowl in my hand, she instantly fell head over heels in love with Paul and him with her. Any opportunity she got she draped her little ginger body over him, followed him around and ground her little face into his beard and since Paul has never had any pets, I think it was a particularly special connection for him.

I had a slightly different focus though. We have been living in a house where our primary TV in our lounge is about 20 years old and has an illustrious history. My former house mate, Justin, bought it second hand off Gumtree when he first moved to London, about seven years ago, taking it from house to house until Astonville Street where we lived together. When he moved out he graciously left behind the 40-ish inch, pre-flatscreen, 20kg TV beast for us and the legacy remained until I eventually brought it to Hartfield Road with me. Along with Dawn’s old off-cast Freeview box, I thought we had our entertainment made.

That was until I experienced Dawn and Bobby’s 46-inch, HD ready flat-screen plugged into a Sky+  HD box… we’re talking crystal clarity, the option to record multiple things at one, goodness knows how many channels, live pause and series linking.

Two days… it took me two days before I quietly suggested to Paul that we might also need to have Sky, Sky+ in particular. He took little convincing especially when we discovered a brilliant deal on a Sky+ box, the catch being that the free box was a HD box… and you just can’t have a HD box if you don’t have a HD TV, can you?

So tonight I am watching Masterchef on my new 32-inch LED HD ready TV (on special of course and thank goodness our lounge is too small for a 46-inch monster) with several things Sky+-ing away in the background. Do I regret it? Not for one fucking minute although I don’t believe it has done anything for my patience as I now have almost no tolerance for anything where I can’t fast forward the adverts. How quickly one gets used to such luxury…

And what happened to Justin’s old TV? Well I couldn’t let the old monster go to waste so I put it on Gumtree, where it came from and it was picked up, this time for free, by a young Scottish gentleman who, according to Paul, seemed very pleased with his new “entertainment system”. The legacy lives on…

30 Day Meme: Day 28 – My holiday in some detail

This entry is supposed to be this year in great detail but I say bollocks to this year in great detail! It’s only fricking April plus this is a diary blog and I’m not into repetition… well unless I’m writing poetry. Instead, I bring you my holiday in Devon in (some) detail.

I think I have to start out by giving my sympathies to Paul who began the entire trip at a disadvantage after being assigned to travel in the “girls” car with Em, Leilah and I and was referred to as a “girl” for most of the rest of the holiday. I know you’re all man, baby 😉

Me and my housies!

Our journey to Clovelly was quite an arduous one marred by traffic, people slowing down for Stonehenge and subsequently for the pig farm directly thereafter. In the words of Tyrone, “it’s like you go past Stonehenge and think, it’s not that big and then… whoa… look at the size of that pig!” However with good company, good tunes and a hefty pub lunch to keep us all going, it was rather pleasant.

Our “home” was a charming wooden cabin with a bathroom containing what Paul nicknamed the “Dalek shower”. It not only had a radio and a steam function but it shot out streams of water from all kinds of bizarre angles and, with the exception of Tyrone, I don’t think anyone fully mastered its operation. It did look cool though.

We made a venture into Clovelly itself which is mostly comprised of steep inclines, cobble stones, cream teas and gift shops. It’s very pretty but I’m not sure the residents should be allowed to charge £7 entry into it or that we should have taken the treacherous back entrance in order not to pay! Other than this the only real venture out was to the beach and being total city people Paul and I elected to stay home and play cards. Are we lame? Maybe… but we’re also happy.

Nature and stuff

Many drinking games were played, including the bizarre “spoons” than nearly ended in violence several times. We also learned that the point at which you’re really drunk is not the right time to start playing Lord Of The Rings Monopoly, eight people will never agree on a film to watch, if you let Oli wear the bunny ears he will yell, “get some Easter up ya!” at passing cars, it takes Paul and I about 15 minutes to make our bedroom look like a student flat and when Tyrone gets his kite out, duck!

Get some Easter up ya!

In short it was very relaxing, a lot of fun and I would highly recommend a sojourn to North Devon to anyone!

I ended the weekend by heading back to Chelmsford with Paul so we could watch Doctor Who together, two days late but still exciting. I have to say I’m completely sold on our lovely new doctor as well as his feisty companion. The first episode was an absolute triumph! Roll on a new era of Matt Smith and Steven Moffat. Not that I won’t forever hold a space in my heart for Ten…

When adverts go wrong…

It’s time for one of my advertising rants again. Do you ever watch TV and wonder “what are they on?” when the ads come on. There is no doubt that there are a lot of ads that are just plain lame or boring. You know the ones that show you a whole bunch of sofas with prices or the ones with a families eating cereal. But then there are the adverts that are so outlandish… that they’re impossible to swallow. Couldn’t get videos of all of them but there are four basic categories:

Outlandish… where it’s difficult to even figure out what the hell the concept was. According to Always Ultra having your period is like having a pinball machine in your pants. Umm… what? Even if this were true, how would this be a good thing? Have a happy period, my arse!

Does this look like something you'd like to have in your pants?

Does this look like something you'd like to have in your pants?

Outrageous… where it’s hard not to be stunned that the advertiser expects you to believe this crap. Like the Nivea Pearl ad that tries to convince us that a guy’s favourite part on a woman’s body is her armpit? When was the last time you heard a guy shout, “nice pits, love?” at a passing woman.

Nice pits, love!

Nice pits, love!

Incomprehensible… where you’re not sure what it is you’re actually supposed to buy. Take the Aviva one with the Newcastle football supporter complaining about how he can’t ask his friends to chip in on car insurance even though the drives them around… well I think that’s what he’s saying since I can only understand every third word he says… plus the guy is just damned creepy.

Offensive. While everyone is (rightly) up in arms the minute it’s insinuated that women are incapable of doing something or are less than mentally agile. However, Oven Pride have somehow managed to get away with this little gem, where they flat out claim that men are generally too stupid to clean an oven. I don’t care if it’s been cleared of sexism, it’s not funny, it’s not clever, it’s down right lame!

What are your worst ads?

We are coming…

Torchwood Children Of Earth AKA season 3 has finished airing and I feel like my emotions have done ten rounds with Tyson…

TorchwoodChildrenofEarthPromo2
For those who don’t know Torchwood is a science fiction spin-off of Doctor Who, following the adventures of the immortal Captain Jack Harkness and the team he has put together in their efforts to protect the earth from alien invasion. Despite its image of being over-sexed, under-acted and impressively cheesy in seasons one and two, it’s one of my favourite shows and Jen’s favourite thing in the world. In an unusual step, the BBC decided to condense season 3 into a five part featurette and air it on five consecutive nights. It ended tonight.

The last five nights constitute some of the best television I have ever seen in my life. I have no intention of spoiling so those who haven’t watched it (and I believe all of those of you who are reading this in the UK should hit up iplayer… NOW) can read easy. Even if you take out the alien elements of Children Of The Earth, the ethical and moral questions raised in the show are so universal and so hard-hitting that the extraterrestrials become but a symbol of the kind of question that could so easily be faced. I cannot imagine anyone watching this show and not thinking… what would I have done?

I can only express my admiration for the writers, who not only grew the characters but kept the drama, suspense and action at a pace that must be described as breakneck. Added to this is my utmost respect for how intensely hard-hitting and unforgiving it was. As an audience we were not let off and we were not allowed to lighten up… there was no fluff and our ending, even if it may be considered an agreeable solution, requires so much sacrifice that I spent much of the final episode reduced to tears.

And it had one very odd and unexpected side effect… I probably shouldn’t tell you this because you’ll laugh… but for the first time in my life, I thought fondly of possibly one day having children of my own… I said don’t laugh! Now go watch Torchwood…

You can have a lookee and the trailer here.

Swearing is caring

Can anyone tell me when the phrase “douche bag” became part of the generally acceptable everyday language? I was watching this show called Supernatural the other night. I’ve never seen it before but I had a fresh cup of coffee (I don’t like taking the mugs up to my room or they just end up staying there for a month) and the boys in it were pretty hot. It was kind of like a boy version of Charmed. That in itself is unimportant, what I am trying to get across is that it was a fairly inoffensive American “fantasy drama series”. Yes, it was on after the 9pm watershed (something that doesn’t exist in Australia by the way, they have South Park on at 10am), probably because it was pretty violent and might have been scary to the under-10’s. But it wasn’t Two Pints or anything equally shocking so I was a bit taken aback when one of the characters called the other a douche bag without batting an eyelid.

Is this an American thing? Do they even know what a douche bag is? Definition here for anyone who might be equally clueless. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not an anti-swearing rant. Anyone who has had the fortune/misfortune of hanging out with me in person will know that I’m quite a prolific fucking user of the f-word, up there in the leagues of Gordon fucking Ramsay. What I’m interested in is the rankings of swear words. In this Supernatural show, there were no f-words, that would have been inconceivable but douche bag was ok. Does that mean douche-bag is less offensive than fuck? I would have thought the reverse. What is it about certain words that makes them more/less offensive and when do they go from being taboo to ending up on prime-time TV? I’m not for or against “colourful” language on TV. I think it works in some settings… imagine Skins without the effing and blinding. Who would Cook be if he wasn’t calling every second person a fucking c*** (still can’t even type out THAT word)? On the other hand I’m quite glad that we don’t have David Tennant declaring everything “fucking brilliant” on Doctor Who (yeah, yeah, he’s still the Doctor for now, ok?).

What do you think?

supernatural
In other news, I spent part of yesterday hanging out of Sam’s window ogling Noel Fielding who was wandering down Rathbone Place. He is stupidly, ridiculously sexy. I have intentions of setting him a trap made of sparkly boots and hair mousse… Fielding, you’re mine!