Tag Archives: ParaNorman

Film Friday #139

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Once again continuing where the last one left off, Kirk (William Shatner) and the crew of the Enterprise are en route back to Earth in their Klingon Bird of Prey to face the music after, you know, stealing the Enterprise and destroying it and all that. As they come into Earth’s atmosphere they discover that the planet is under threat of being destroyed by a mysterious alien probe that is trying to communicate with humpback whales??? Of course whales have been extinct since the late 20th century so in order to save the earth, the crew of the Enterprise must go back in time, find some whales and bring them back to the future. No I am not joking, this is the actual plot. Go back to the 80’s… steal some whales. This is as much of a train wreck as it sounds and I can completely understand why Mr Osbiston refused to divulge the plot to me before making me watch it. It does have some funny moments though… just about enough to save it from being a total write-off. 2/5

Does this make my ears look big?

Does this make my ears look big?

ParaNorman

Norman Babcock (voiced by Kodi Smit-McPhee) can see ghosts but no one, including his family believes him. In fact, most people think he’s insane. When Norman’s eccentric uncle, who he has always been told to avoid, dies, he hands over the responsibility of keeping his town safe from a 300 year old curse to norman. he reluctantly takes on the task but when he is too late and a horde of zombies are released it is up to Norman, his odd friend Neil (voiced by Tucker Albrizzi), ditzy sister (voiced by Anna Kendrick), Neil’s hunky but dumb brother (voiced by Casey Affleck) and the bully who torments Norman and Neil (voiced by Christopher Mitz-Plasse) to come to the rescue. The stop-motion technique employed in ParaNorman looks fantastic and it is impressively dark, bordering on full-horror. With an underlying theme of embracing what makes you different even when your family rejects you, it has a lot of heart and a positive message that doesn’t come across as saccharine. Although this is very much a kids’ movie, very little ones and sensitive souls might be frightened. 3/5

Rabies... it's not pretty

Rabies… it’s not pretty

She’s Having a Baby

After marrying young, newlyweds, Jake (Kevin Briggs) and Kristy (Elizabeth McGovern) must negotiate the realities of work, family, mortgages and the idea that the grass might be greener on the other side. When they decide to add a baby to the mix things become a lot more complicated but it might be just the thing to make them realise what’s really important. This dramedy from legendary teen movie director, John Hughes, has its moments but Jake and Kristy are both really annoying and since nothing happens for at least an hour out of the run time it does drag a bit. The last third, however, is really touching and just about worth snoozing through the endless and pointless bickering. Not Hughes’ best. Rather just go and watch The Breakfast Club or Pretty In Pink or 16 Candles again. 2/5

Kristy's pregnancy was having surprising benefits for Jake

Kristy’s pregnancy was having surprising benefits for Jake

Skyfall

After Bond (Daniel Craig) is accidentally shot by a colleague (Naomie Harris) who is obeying M’s (Judi Dench) orders, he goes into hiding for a while happily allowing everyone to believe he is dead so he can drink loads and shag some random girls. As you do when you have a gunshot wound. But that gets boring so he attempts to return to active service soon realising that he might be getting on a bit and that his old ways are falling behind new technology. Poor old Bond. In the meantime an angry former charge of M’s called Silva (Javier Bardem) is out to get revenge on her and being a right clever creepy bastard he’s doing quite a good job. Of course the only chance for M is if the ever loyal Bond goes back to basics to keep them both safe… but not before he’s fought off some lizards and shagged another random woman (Bérénice Marlohe). Look, I know a load of people loved this film but I really just don’t get it or Bond generally. The action sequences were tedious and dragged on, the sexism is cringe worthy and I was terribly bored. I cannot understand why any woman would agree to being in a Bond film or why they even bother to name the characters when all they are is just penis fodder for a man with a sexual past that would put Hugh Heffner to shame. There is one particular character who seems to be introduced purely so that Bond can creep up on her naked in the shower after speaking about four words to her. The sets are absolutely spectacular though and Ben Whishaw makes a great smug young upstart Q. None of that is worth sitting through two and a half hours of aggressive product placement and Daniel Craig though. I have definitely learned my lesson now. Never again. 1/5

Point me to the pussay

Point me to the pussay