Tag Archives: Kick-Ass

My top 10 kids in movies

The saying goes, never work with animals or children… but every now and then it’s the kid in the film that completely steals the show. These are my favourite pint-sized scene stealers.

this-is-england_625x352 Shaun
Played by: Thomas Turgoose
Film: This is England (2006)
Age: 11
“Get me… ‘undred fags, two bottles of wine, a bottle of whisky, and ten cans of lager now.”

the-sixth-sense-10991Cole Sear
Played by: Hayley Joel Osment
Film: The Sixth Sense (1999)
Age: 8
“I see dead people.”

MSDMATI EC010Matilda
Played by: Mara Wilson
Film: Matilda (1996)
Age: 6
“No more Miss Nice Girl!”

LittleMissSunshineOlive Hoover
Played by: Abigail Breslin
Film: Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Age: 7
“I’d like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.”

jonathan-lipnicki-jerry-maguire-paramountRay Boyd
Played by: Jonathan Lipnicki
Film: Jerry Maguire (1996)
Age: 5
“Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”

hit-girl-kick-ass--movie-88Hit Girl
Played by: Chloe Moretz
Film: Kick Ass (2010)
Age: 11
“Okay you cunts… Let’s see what you can do now!”

Played by: Kirsten Dunst
Film: Interview with a Vampire (1994)
Age: Forever 6
“It’s time we were on our way. I’m hungry, and the city awaits.”

beasts defense 615 spcHushpuppy
Played by: Quvenzhané Wallis
Film: Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)
Age: 6
“I see that I am a little piece of a big, big universe, and that makes it right.”

About A BoyMarcus Brewer
Played by: Nicholas Hoult
Film: About A Boy (2002)
Age: 12
“I think I killed a duck.”

The-Bicycle-ThievesBruno Ricci
Played by: Enzo Staiola
Film: The Bicycle Thieves (1948)
Age: 8

90’s flashbacks, ass kickings and Branson the butterfly

It has been a bit of a chaotic, unpredictable weekend. Paul and I started off by popping over to Shepherd’s Bush to see the recently reformed Reef. Some of you might know them as the band that did the dancefloor filler, Place Your Hands. We were just in time for the headline which possibly wasn’t ideal in the circumstances. The downside of gigs where bands have reformed is that they’re full of music “tourists”… the kinds of people who do not go to gigs often, for whom live music is not a lifestyle and who blatantly do not get the etiquette. Some things are not done at gigs. You find a spot and you stay in it. You do not roam incessantly to and from the bar and the toilets while the band is playing. It is disrespectful and it ruins other people’s experience of the show. You also don’t talk loudly through anyone’s set and you certainly don’t take up residence at the bar or barrel through the crowd spilling your drinks in other people’s shoes!

But putting the vile crowd aside, the band was awesome. Their grungy surfer vibe strangely hasn’t dated and they are very tight for a band that hasn’t played together for some time. Front man, Gary Stringer, once again long of hair as he was in the 90’s doesn’t say much but he’s totally captivating and in watching him live I discovered that my beloved friend Josh has an older twin. For those who know Josh… observe… this is Gary Stringer and Reef doing a little song called Naked. He even moves like Josh!

We left  revitalised after a glorious four-song encore but I’ve got to say that She Bu is 10 times rougher than Brixton at night. I would not like to go roaming around there after dark alone.

On Saturday we took temporary leave of the glorious weather to take in Kick-Ass at the cinema. Paul and I were in definite agreement that this superhero-with-a-twist film is a total winner. Geeky Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is absorbed in comic books and his best girlfriend (who thinks he’s gay) but after he gets mugged one too many times by local thugs he decides to attempt being a superhero. Dressed in scuba gear and armed with a pair of batons, he has some success until he gets in over his head and is bailed out by the “real deal”, pint sized prodigy, Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) and Big-Daddy (Nicholas). It isn’t long before David realises he’s thrust himself into a situation far more sinister than anything he ever could have imagine and that being a hero, super or otherwise, is nothing like in the movies. Go  see… it’s fabulously funny but also extremely dark.

I can't read your mind. But I can kick your ass

When we got home the sun was still high in the sky so we had our own little party in the back garden with a couple of beers and a deck of cards (we have an ongoing rummy contest that we take up whenever the opportunity presents) before checking out Doctor Who episode 4 (may I say that I LOVE Matt Smith as the Doctor… LOVE and that season 5 is so far IMMENSE) and being utterly terrified by the Weeping Angels.


As we umm-ed and ah-ed about what to do next, Wilhelm and Fara arrived home and invited us to join them for homemade burgers. Burgers were consumed, beer levels were topped up and eventually we all ended up in the Pig & Whistle. By the time we arrived it had already turned feral and not only were people dancing on the tables but there was mini-hysteria. We even got overrun by a dog. It was all so strange I half expected a clown on a unicycle to come through and for us all to realise that we’d woken up in one of those experimental German music videos that Wilhelm likes so much. In any case it was all a lot of fun.

I felt like I was having less fun when I had to get up at 6 to accompany Paul in supporting his colleague, Cat, who was running the London Marathon. I will admit that Paul did offer to let me stay in bed but I made the choice to go along and despite the crowds bringing out some of my less desirable qualities… I get crowd rage like some people get road rage… I was very glad I went along. Cat did a great job and finished well and we got to see a series of ludicrous costumes, including Richard Branson in his butterfly wings, but best of all I got to see Colin at mile 12 and he was kicking ass. I might even volunteer to go down next year again!

Tonight I am home on my own for the first time in months. Whether I spend the weekend at Paul’s or he comes into London I normally spend Sunday nights at his house but it just wasn’t practical this week. It  feels very strange being on my own and I don’t like it… I never thought I’d say that… I don’t like being on my own…