Tag Archives: Employee Of The Month

Kentucky fried

I have become obsessed with Cage The Elephant. This happens every now and then, when I discover a band and I don’t want to listen to anything else. Now while the absolutely vein-boiling guitar magic of their songs is undeniable, a large part of the obsession is around vocalist, Matt Schultz. I cannot explain my attraction to his accent. The man is from Bowling Green, Kentucky and he sounds full on trash-South. There are extra syllables in his words. He says ain’t. You can even hear the twang when he sings. I should not think this is sexy… but I do. I want to wear his accent like a jacket… I want to lick it! Jen likens this to her desire to sleep in Matt Bellamy’s piano. I’m pretty sure neither of us has taken enough drugs to be this mad. This is Matt Schultz. He’s really not even that cute but if he whispered even the words of Back Stabbin’ Betty (which is really just a string of insults) to me, I’d follow him pretty much anywhere.

Last night Don convinced Kelly and I to watch some of Employee Of The Month before America’s Next Top Model came on. I have to hope that Don was only into it because Jessica Simpson is the female lead because it is possibly the worst start of a film (thank God we only had to watch the first hour) that I have ever seen. Poor old Jess could be out acted by a lidless highlighter pen… and a storyline that involves female shoppers being driven wild by a cashier’s ability to speedily check their groceries is absolutely baffling. Unless this is normal in America… anyone?

Anyway, the film made me think about the logic of attraction. I look at Jessica Simpson and I can aesthetically understand why she is “pretty” but she is so bland and so predictable that I don’t see what about her would excite someone. I have the same thing with many actors and male models that are supposed to be sexy. I am bored by the perfectly cut physiques and immaculate teeth. I wonder what the psychology is behind attraction. What makes some people look at the blonde, buff, tanned and chiselled creatures of the world and pick a skinny, big-haired, tattooed guy with a slightly off-kilter nose (and potentially a trash-South accent if there is one going spare). So kids, what’s your preference… conventionally attractive or sexy-weird… Jessica Simpson or Kat Von D? Daniel Craig or Mat Devine? Cast your vote in the comments…


I think I have obsessed enough for one day…