Tag Archives: abbi

The Wild Things are dead… long live abbiosbiston

You might have noticed things are looking a bit different over at this blog.

For a while now I have been thinking of changing the name. My blog is a stately six and a half years old and has evolved significantly since its evolution.

At the start calling it Where the Wild Things Are made perfect sense. My posts were all about wild nights out with my friends and my crazy online dating adventures. And there’s some real gold there, which is why I don’t want to get rid of any of it. If you have some time to poke around in my archives (that is not a euphemism, Eric) you might get a good laugh out of it.

Read more…

Apparently I’m making a name for myself

Being generally bored and a bit sleepless last night (this will happen if you sleep all day), I decided to go for the ultimate vanity game and googled myself. But with a twist. I only googled my first name and I did a picture search. I found some really interesting images. It seems Abbi is a popular name for dogs, contortionists… and mechanical bulls (??) Here are some of the best ones. I dare you all to do the same, blog/facebook note it and send me some linkage.

Abbi, the prize winning lamb. Baaaa!

Abbi, the prize winning lamb. Baaaa!

This is Abbi the genius. Not only can she reader, she knows her gender!

This is Abbi the genius. Not only can she read, she knows her gender!

Probably the cutest out of about 400 dogs named Abbi

Probably the cutest out of about 400 dogs named Abbi

This is when I met David Beckham

This is when I met David Beckham. He looks a bit scruffy... and dazed!

Abbi the contortionist

Abbi the contortionist

Don't ask...

Don't ask...

My name in whipped cream

Who needs their name in lights when you can have it in whipped cream!

You wear your skin like it’s too tight

I have a message for anyone who is considering getting a tattoo. If you are worried about the pain of actually getting tattooed, well really, this is the least of your worries. What you actually need to be concerned about is the healing process. As the tattoo on my leg is my fifth, I felt like I was going in knowing what to expect. The initial constant ache and sting was not too bad even though it was on a much grander scale than the previous tattoos, being about 6 times the size of the next biggest. The itching has now set in and I am actually struggling with my sanity. My entire lower right leg is on fire… 24 hours a day. Under absolutely no circumstances can there be any scratching. Since the itch is the result of what is essentially a scab, scratching would be very painful and if you scratch and the scab comes off before it is ready, you end up with an uneven, patchy tattoo. Of course this is all very worth it but if you see me twitching, you will know why. If I ever had to torture anyone… like Kylie maybe or James Blunt… I’d want to give them something that made them itch all over and unable to scratch… I think they’d confess to crimes against music pretty quickly.

I spent the day with Josh and Sanna yesterday. Josh decided that I needed to be introduced to Father Ted, which is a cult comedy series about a trio of Irish priests banished to Craggy Isle after various transgressions. One of the priests is a complete simpleton, the other is a deranged elderly alcoholic and the third has a bit of a gambling problem. It took me a while to get into and it is magnificently surreal but once I did, I couldn’t stop giggling. We rounded off the evening with dinner at the Corrib. It was exactly what I needed to round off what turned out to be a very bizarre weekend.

Today’s obsession is Pirates Of The Caribbean. I don’t any of us realised how badly we all wanted to abandon our day jobs to become pirates and sail the high seas until this Disney extravaganza (based on an amusement park ride) hit the screens. I suppose the story is less important but it starts out with cursed pirates looking for the lost son of a dead crew member in order to spill his blood and end said curse. From there it goes off on a bizarre tangent that has so far spawned three films filled with mad characters and ever more outlandish special effects and storylines. What makes POTC special is one simple thing. Captain Jack Sparrow. Played by Johnny Depp, Jack is irreverent, witty, regularly confused, superbly lucky, self-serving, charming and probably one of the coolest movie characters of all time. Women want him, men want to be him. Johnny plays him with the same style as a drug addled rock star and his endlessly quotable lines (“Why is all the rum gone?”) and lovable rogue quality is irresistible. We all know the upcoming fourth film will be a debacle in terms of plot but I guarantee you we’ll all be there opening week just to catch a glimpse of Jack.

I love my bloody hair

I am glad to say that in the hair-dyeing experiment yesterday I didn’t turn anything except my own forehead red. The lovely new shower is still sparkling white. Normally the dye comes of skin relatively well when scrubbed but this dye is so bright that it’s going nowhere for the next few days. Thank god I have a doorstep fringe or I would look like a complete tool right now. It didn’t come out quite Hayley-orange but I don’t think I am ever going to achieve that without pre-lightening, which is not going to happen. I am not giving up my hair’s condition for a bit of colour. It is however blisteringly, flamingly red… like a London phone booth at noon on a sunny day. Fabio even described it as looking like a river of blood. Don’t believe me? Check this out…

I think I am getting a cold. I have just kicked the goddamn tonsillitis and now I have that whole “thick” head, sore throat thing going on… ugh! I am supposed to be out tonight for Karen’s leaving drinks and I really don’t think I am going to last very long. I need to get some serious recovery time in before Dawnie’s birthday party tomorrow. It’s going to be strange not working with Karen since it’s been a good couple of years and she’s always been my partner in fashion crime. It’s not all tears though since the Trooper has an awesome new job at Virgin Media. Good luck, girl!

Today’s obsession is new BBC comedy The Beautiful People, which is based on Simon Doonan’s book of the same name.  With a similar format to Everybody Hates Chris, it follows, Simon (Luke Ward-Wilkonson), on his journey from being stuck 90’s Reading to eventual success as a New York department store window dresser… through the eyes of his adult self. It is more a representation of how he remembers things than what actually happened and so characters burst into song and dance regularly and weirdness reigns supreme. The supporting cast is blistering and includes an even camper best mate, a semi-acoholic tarty mother, an Irish father obsessed with distilling wine from vegetables, a blind aunt (who isn’t really an aunt) and a super slutty sister, amongst other odd neighbours and randoms. If you are homophobic, sensible or even vaguely serious avoid like the plague… if you like fluff, drama and bitchiness… get yourself in front of BBC 2 on Thursdays at 9.30pm.

She’s got such hot legs

I am pleased to report that my shower has been fixed and is back in use. It was most definitely worth being booted out of my bathroom for a week because I now have shower doors that close smoothly and tightly… previously the doors were falling off the runners and often they wouldn’t seal on the sides so water would fly out. The cracked tiles are also all gone, the damp and cracks have been repaired and painted over. For me it’s like having a new bathroom… and for Mich hopefully no more mini-floods every time I decide to get clean. Now if the landlord would just fix the walls, the collapsed floorboard in the hall and the kitchen cabinets and give us a new fridge, we’d be on the road to success.

Right now the biggest pro is that I will be able to shower and keep my tattoo out of the water. I had forgotten how small the downstairs shower is. If you are in it with the door closed all of you is getting wet… end of. My shower is bigger and so I can stick my leg out of the water apart from when I am cleaning it… I intend to celebrate the new bathroom by dyeing my hair… and praying that I don’t turn all the new grouting red! Schwarzkopf have introduced a new even oranger shade of the range I use… Hayley Williams hair, here I come!

Speaking of the tattoo… it is still very much in the gross stage. The excess ink is still coming out and it is very red. Oh and if anyone needs a hot water bottle I am happy to rest my leg against them for warmth. My body is, of course, trying very hard to heal the inked area and so it’s radiating heat.

Today’s obsession is The Nightmare Before Christmas. This claymation gem from the mind of the always bizarre Tim Burton feels like a walk through my imagination. The story goes behind the scenes of “Halloween Town” where the weird, mismatched, nightmare characters spend their time preparing for 31 October and making each Halloween scarier than the year before. The problem is that their top scarer, Jack Skellington is becoming a bit disillusioned with frightening people. When he accidentally ends up in Christmas Town and sees the festivities, he sends his minions to kidnap “Sandy Claws” so he can hijack the holiday. Unfortunately the other Halloween residents don’t really “get” Christmas and things go horribly wrong. Added to this we have a gorgeous love story between Jack and “Frankstein’s Ragdoll”, Sally and a deliciously creepy soundtrack. To be honest, I prefer Jack’s version of the festive season so if it were up to me we’d have Halloween on Christmas every year!

Tell them that she’s not scared

I am amazed by the amount of interest in the new tattoo. I think everyone has been getting vicariously inked through me. Ha ha! I can now reveal that the new art is on my right calf and it says:

I’m not afraid
At least
not to die
I’m afraid
to live
And not
remember why

And this is what it looks like. There are some shots from a better angle here but they are not for the faint of heart because you can still see a lot of the blood.

For those who don’t know, it’s an Envy On The Coast lyric from a song called Lapse. It probably sums up how I feel about life, better than anything else I’ve ever heard and of course anyone who has been following my progress on the novel I’m writing will know it was inspired by the album that Lapse is on. So it’s a celebration of the project and how it is changing me.
I sat for about an hour, which is my longest by a very long way. Fortunately Kelly was kind enough to sit with me. Having her there to distract me made a huge difference because there were times where I came close to throwing in the towel. Once again, I had the gorgeous Maio, as my artist/torturer. He is the same person who did the tattoo on my arm and quite amusingly he remarked at how good that one looks. I reminded him that he did it and he was like… oh… ha ha! Sadly this time I was facing away from him so I couldn’t stare.

Now begins the clingwrapping and the itching and the scabbing and the blistering and all the questions about why I am carrying around nappy rash cream! I also envision many questions from various people when I arrive home next week. Wish me luck…

Today’s obsession is this YouTube video by vBlogger, Jimmy010. He does little bits of observational comedy. This one is about warnings on plastic carrier bags. I’ve watched it about a hundred times and I kill myself laughing every time.

Take the red from your eyes and ink it into your skin

My shopping trip yesterday was in parts successful and other parts not. I was supposed to buy shoes… shoes were not bought. I did get a handbag, a dress and the coolest scarf, everrrrr. It is the scarf of destiny… red tartan with elastic run through it so it sort of poofs up and gets this ruffled look. Adds instant glam to any outfit. The downside is that I may be going to Kirsty’s wedding barefoot.

In other news, I am on edge. Yesterday I dropped off a design for a tattoo and this evening at six it will become my fifth piece of art. I’m not telling you what it is or where it’s going but I will reveal that it is more song lyrics in the same style as the one on my arm and that it will be my biggest tattoo by far. I am very, very nervous because I will have to sit for a lot longer than I have ever sat before… and well, tattoos hurt. Fortunately Kelly and Candice are coming to sit with me and distract me. Kelly actually wants to take photos of the process… niiiiiiiice. Stay tuned and tomorrow there should be pics.

No obsession today… too twitchy…

Day old blues

Why is it that the real impact of a big night out only kicks in a day down the line? I woke up this morning and had another one of those “why do I do this to myself” moments. It wasn’t that I felt ill or even particularly depressed… I just felt “nowhere”. Does anyone else get that? Where you feel like you’re floating around, not quite anchored to your body and you’re just substituting one drug for another. We medicate the boredom of everyday life with alcohol. Then we medicate the hangover by eating everything that’s not nailed down and then the next day we medicate the exhaustion with coffee (she says sucking back cup number three). Maybe if we got the chance to do more of the things we really loved, we wouldn’t need as much “medication”. But if you’re busy creating something because that’s your passion, the more you work, the more you end up with huge creative doubts… and that ends up becoming what you medicate.

Right… that’s enough fucking philosophy for one blog. I suppose one day we will grow up. Today is not that day. Today is a day for coffee… lots and lots of coffee. Quite potentially I will cheer up later as I am going shopping with Fabio this evening and when the two of us convene, even the most mundane activities become a bit of a carnival… no vodka required. And this time we’re buying things for ME!

I am also wondering if anyone else is creeped out by those new Xbox 360 ads that feature a kid with a hollowed out head. Basically the ad has this kid sitting next to his dad with a facial expression like he’s had a lobotomy and when they pan around to the back of his head, it’s been hollowed out and there is a game going on in his empty skull. It freaks the living shit out of me. I don’t want to buy and Xbox… I want to hide from the brain snatchers! I don’t think this goes any way to dispel the belief that computer games will steal your mind… check it out and give me your take…

Today’s obsession is Merlin. It’s funny how certain legends become so firmly rooted in our consciences that we revisit them over and over again. The story of King Arthur, Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table is one of those legends and so there has been interpretation after interpretation and this is the latest. Focused on Merlin (who was of course the Arthur’s court magician) as a young adult living in a Camelot where magic is illegal, this BBC drama is my new favourite guilty pleasure. It’s not surprising considering my fascination things like Harry Potter and Lord Of The Rings. I guess what makes all of these interpretations so interesting is that there is virtually nothing known of the actual Arthur and so you don’t know what to expect from any writer’s “vision” of the story. I am certainly interested to see how this one is going to pan out… or maybe it’s just because it has cool special effects and the boy who plays Merlin is really cute. It appears to be on BBC 1 at 6pm on a Saturday but there is always the option to catch up, sans ads, on iplayer.

Take a look at my life… all black

I’d like to be able to tell you that after the debauchery of Friday night, that we were sensible last night, had one or two drinks and went home early. If I told you this, I would be liar.

Barb, Hilton and I started our evening at Jongleurs in Battersea for Colleen’s birthday. I haven’t seen any stand-up in ages so it was really fun. I used to go all the time back home and I didn’t realise how much I missed it. It was a mixed bag of comedians and the topics ranged from fighting off dingoes to being sexually assaulted by an albino posing as a snowman. Unfortunately we had to leave almost immediately after the show since it was already pushing midnight and we were due at another party.

When we arrived at Baraza for Robs’ 30th the bouncers refused to let us in. After much pleading and cajoling, we were finally allowed into the “all black” themed party. The guests were all in black to mourn the end of Robs’ 20’s and she was in a slinky red number so she could roar into her 30’s. Everyone was ever so slightly drunker than we were and the catch-up process and the chaos commenced.

After Baraza closed the crowd stumbled out into the rain and to Matt’s house. It took us forever to get there because people kept wandering off and Barb and I were attempting to herd Bobby who was pulling his customary bewildered, lost puppy act. The whole crew seemed to be in an exceptionally affectionate mood. There were endless declarations of undying love from every possible corner.

By about 4am, I think Matt had had enough of all of us drifting around his beautiful house. We had not had enough yet and headed back to the Playboy Mansion. The events are somewhat blurry but I do remember leaping around the lounge with Kelly, wailing to Sex On Fire before eventually passing at about 7.

I woke up this morning with gigantic hair, smeared make-up and a mean hangover. I wasn’t in as bad a state as Bobby, who had managed to lose his coat and his wallet and was, for some reason, wearing one full-length black sock and one white secret sock. There is very little movement in the mansion today. Both the permanent residents and their consorts are feeling more than a little worse for hair.

Next weekend we do it all again for Dawn’s birthday.

Today’s obsession is Emily the Strange.  Created by Rob Reger and his company Cosmic Debris Etc. Inc, this Goth cartoon icon is a very dark thirteen-year-old girl who only wears black, loves maths science and rock music and spends all her time with her four cats. Emily is busting with attitude and is something of an anti-hero, wanting people to follow themselves above anything else. She has a very weird and wonderful website that promotes her comic books, merch and a range of interesting little games and quizzes. I am very lucky to own a bag, notebook, keychain and a pair of rocking arm warmers from the Emily range that were a gift from the lovely Jen. And I even dressed as her for Don’s cartoons and super-heroes party last year. Check out the badlibs, they are ridiculously good fun.

I’m bouncing off the walls again

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I woke up and felt my party spirit rally. With being so sick recently and just generally feeling chilled out, I haven’t really felt like going out but by 2pm yesterday I could hear what Kelly calls “the call of the vodka”. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one hearing it and after a few cheeky emails to the aforementioned Kelly, a game plan was in place.

We decided to head to our usual stalwart, The Puzzle, but didn’t even make it to the bar before making a strategic exit. The few people who were in there, were quite a few years older than us and in the words of Kelly, “it even smelled like old people.” There was nothing to be done but go to Suburban.

I haven’t been to Suburban on a Friday in a very long time. Turns out the crowd is quite different to the Saturday crowd. It definitely had a vibe though and Kels and I were extremely popular with both the (unfortunately trollworthy) men and one middle-aged and very unsubtle lesbian. I found nothing to my taste (Kels, of course is not looking as she is comfortably ensconced with the lovely Donovan) so we stuck to knocking back the vodkas and getting our dance on.

I was in fine (read embarrassingly drunk and strange) form and flitted between

  • starting an argument with a guy who was trying to chat Kelly up no matter how much she ignored him
  • listening to the life story of a passing Polish tramp and demanding that he follow his dream (not that I can remember what it was) before giving him my change
  • making friends with two girls who were also out on the lash… one of whom was lovely… the other was completely deranged and frighteningly squeaky. She kept demanding that we had to be seeexxxxxxy on the dance floor.
  • stealing hats from a group of people who had come from a hat party (what is it with me and the goddamn hats???)… I almost made it out with one but it was snatched off my head by the owner at the last moment!

In the end Kelly dragged me home as the place closed. Uncharacteristically, I did not want to go home and I was pouting but fortunately Kelly is a lot more sensible than I am and shoved me into a cab that we paid for with a tenner we found lying next to the bar and that I had been storing for safekeeping in my bra (??)

Not feeling very clever this morning… head hurts, mouth like old sock, appetite of teenage boy. And tonight we get to do it all again because there are two birthday parties… wish me luck!

No obsession today… feeling too ill…

Copy… right?

I was alerted to a very interesting bit of news by Jen this morning. (High fives by the way to Jen who has also jumped ship from Live Spaces to Blogspot, you can find her shiny new blog here. I suppose we owe a debt of gratitude to Live Spaces, as nasty as it is since it introduced us to each other). It appears that Apple may close the itunes store. Jen tried to share this information with me via a link on facebook but the link was swiftly removed… is big brother watching us? Anyway, I did some research myself and found this article.

It appears that The Copyright Royalty Board has intentions of increasing the royalty rates paid to music publishers. If this happens, Apple is faced with upping download prices or making a loss. Apparently they are not keen on either of these options. The Copyright Royalty Board claims that the music publishers will now be giving more money to artists. If I genuinely believed this, I might not complain too much if the download prices went up. I have a bit of a free-for-all attitude to music… sometimes I pay for downloads… sometimes I borrow *cough* pirate *cough*… it depends on what is around. The reason I don’t feel too bad about my sometimes dodgy acquisition of music is that the artists, who are the people I care about, see so little of the royalties. Trust me, after the number of onstage rants I’ve heard from bands, I have no doubt. I’d rather go to gigs and buy merch, then I know they’re getting the money. Anyway… it will be very interesting to see what happens with this one… so stay tuned.

In other news, I came home yesterday to discover that my entire shower had been ripped out. I was expecting them just to do some patching and sealing because of the leak but now it looks like I am getting a whole new shower. I would like to officially retract Tuesday’s whinge. My shower was falling apart, the doors barely worked and the wall was all icky next to it from damp. A whole new shower would be like having a whole new bathroom. Yippee!

Today’s obsession is Little Miss Sunshine. The first time I watched this dysfunctional family comedy-drama, I had no idea what to expect. In fact, I don’t think I was expecting much but by the end of the film I was absolutely charmed. The film has very little storyline. A family struggling with a father’s who is failing as a motivational speaker, a gay uncle who has attempted suicide, a son who doesn’t speak and a grandfather who snorts heroin go on a road trip across America to get adorable eight year-old, Olive, to the Little Miss Sunshine Pageant. It sounds somewhat random but the characters and their interactions are so interesting and so funny because they are so relatable. It is of course, Abigail Breslin, as Olive who completely steals the film from her older and much more experienced co-stars (Toni Colette, Alan Arkin, Steve Carrell and Greg Kinnear). I can’t help but adore Paul Dano in the role of Dwayne, as he sums up almost all of the total alienation, I felt as a teenager. I know it doesn’t sound like a feelgood film but you will come away with a smile, trust.

In the pink

Tonight was definitely an evening for celebrations… it was our gorgeous friend Candice’s birthday so we invited a bunch of friends around for dinner. I can’t take any credit for this one, it was Barb who made an incredible veggie lasagne and Kelly who supplied the pink fairy cake. Cands loves all things pink so she was thrilled with her pink handbag, purse and laptop bag, all wrapped in pink paper.

The birthday was not the only reason Cands was “in the pink”. Last night her Lebanese beau, Moonir, popped the question and she is officially betrothed. She is off to meet the man and collect the ring in Jordan next month with a wedding on the cards next year.

Tomorrow the contractors are coming to fix my shower. It has been leaking into Mich’s room for months and the landlord has finally heard our pleas. Unfortunately this is going to take a week and I will be sharing the house bathrooms with the other girls. Although I have only been living in the lair for six months, I have become EXTREMELY spoilt and having to trek downstairs for my daily grooming seems like a giant annoyance. Funny how quickly your perspective changes. Four and a bit years ago I was sharing a bathroom with four other girls and a bed with one other. Now I am grumbling about our house being reduced down from three bathrooms to two and there are only four of us, each with her own double room… time for a reality check, Princess?

Today’s obsession is the Em cartoon. Published daily in the free London Paper, it is the only thing that makes this dire rag, readable. Created by Maria Smedstad, as an autobiographical look into the life of a London singleton living in a shared house, it is sometimes so close to the lives of the Playboy Mansion that I wonder if Maria has been watching us. The cartoons are acerbic, regularly inappropriate and always hilarious chronicling Em and her friends’ drunken nights out, disastrous love lives and searches for fulfilment. You can check out the Em archive here. This is one of my favourites.

Welcome to the dark side… we have cookies

So my first Word Press blog… as a bit of background, Where The Wild Things Are has existed on Windows Live Spaces for the past two and a half years. Live Spaces has served me well but I have gotten sick of their shoddy functionality, spam comments and dodgy stats so I have migrated. If you want to venture into the archives… here it is

As for me… my name is Abbi… hi *waves*. I am an aspiring author/screenwriter, currently working on a novel called Lucy Gray, a TV series called Amped (with my best friend/writing partner, Jen) and a coffee table book called The Bakery Of Discontent (with my artist friend, Zarina). By day I am a Marketing Manager, fighting the evils of spam email, bad subject lines and sales people.

When I am not working or writing, I am gigging. I see more bands than anyone I know. My appetite for rock music and sneaking up on musicians to make them have conversations with me, is insatiable.

This blog is a diary of my adventures, an outlet for my rants, a source of gig reviews and a window to my obsessions.

Welcome to the dark side… we have cookies.