Even more Christmas specials. Too busy in the O house for whole films at the moment. Plus we have the attention spans of gnats these days.
Day 7: Peep Show – Seasonal Beatings
Set on: Christmas day
What happens?: Mark and Jez host Christmas for the first time and a power struggled between Mark and his father ensues.
Does it snow?: No
Is it heartwarming?: No.
What lessons are learned?: The Christmas spirit can be elusive. Salad tongs are a terrible Christmas gift. Introducing your girlfriend to your family unexpectedly at Christmas lunch might be unwise. Never joke about the turkey.
“Mark Corrigan: Where’s the turkey, Jeremy?
Jeremy Usborne: What?
Mark Corrigan: The turkey. Where’s the turkey?
Jeremy Usborne: I thought you were getting the turkey.
Mark Corrigan: You what? No turkey?
Mark Corrigan: You fucking idiot, Jeremy! You total fucking idiot! That was YOUR job, you fucking moron! You cretin! YOU’RE A FUCKHEAD! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! A FUCKING SHITHEAD!
[Jeremy looks very hurt]
Jeremy Usborne: [quiet voice] It was a joke, Mark. I was joking. It was a Christmas joke.
Mark Corrigan: Oh, I see. Oh.
Jeremy Usborne: Of course I’ve got a turkey. It’s an organic turkey, I took ages researching it online. It’s going to be delicious.
[he opens the fridge to reveal the turkey inside]
Mark Corrigan: [guilty] That looks like a lovely turkey. I’m sorry, I… flew off the handle a bit.
Jeremy Usborne: [still on the verge of tears] That wasn’t very Christmassy.
Mark Corrigan: No, it wasn’t. I apologize.”
Day 8: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – A Very Sunny Christmas
Set on: Christmas Eve/Christmas day
What happens?: Dee and Dennis try to shame Frank into behaving better at Christmas by enacting a real life Christmas Carol. Charlie and Mac try to find the Christmas spirit.
Does it snow?: In a way
Is it heartwarming?: No. More like fucking disturbing. I really don’t understand why Mr O loves this show.
What lessons are learned?: If you are an utter cunt, Christmas is unlikely to make things any better.
“Dennis Reynolds: If you guys love Christmas so much, why do you always wait until the last possible minute to put up the Christmas decorations? It is the day before Christmas.
Mac: That’s our tradition.
Charlie Kelly: Yeah, that’s what we do. We drink a lot of eggnog. We pass out. And then we don’t put anything up, so we do it at the last minute.
Mac: Yeah, then we wake up at Christmas and celebrate by throwing rocks at moving freight trains.
Dee Reynolds: Why would grown men throw rocks at trains?
Mac: Why wouldn’t we throw rocks at trains? It’s beats throwing rocks at passing cars, or at people.
Charlie Kelly: It’s awesome. That’s what you do on Christmas morning. We’ve been doing it since we were kids. Look, whatever. I’m sorry that we love Christmas and we have awesome Christmas traditions and you guys hate Christmas.
Mac: They hate Christmas because I always got the best gifts, and Frank always gave them shitty presents.
Dee Reynolds: You think we don’t like Christmas because Frank gave us shitty presents?
Dennis Reynolds: Is that really what you think? No, Frank didn’t buy shitty presents. Frank bought the most awesome presents in the world. As a matter of fact, he would find out whatever Christmas presents we wanted that year… and he would buy them for himself instead of buying them for us.
Charlie Kelly: Really? That must have been why he wanted me to walkie you guys when you got to the bar. ‘Cause he was trying to do something about making your Christmas better. Or worse.”
Day 9: Father Ted – A Christmassy Ted
Set in: The lead up to Christmas
What happens?: Ted is awarded the Golden Cleric after leading a group of priests out of a lingerie department.
Does it snow?: No
Is it heartwarming?: Not really. Although watching Dougal enjoy Christmas is sort of sweet.
What lessons are learned?: Not all priests are holy. Lingerie is confusing. The Vatican is a lot of fun.
“Father Ted Crilly: I mean, what’s it all about?
Father Dougal: Oh there’s not really a story Ted, it’s just about football and stuff.
Father Ted Crilly: Ah no Dougal I mean life.”
Day 10: That 70’s Show – The Best Christmas Ever
Set at: The Formans’ annual Christmas party
What happens?: Red tells Eric he can spend whatever is left of $40 after he’s bought a Christmas tree on a party for his friends.
Does it snow?: Yes
Is it heartwarming?: Hyde’s gift to Donna is really sweet.
What lessons are learned?: Don’t steal from the forest. Be careful when you spike the punch. Sentimental gifts are the best.
“Jackie Burkhart: Hyde, if you want to make out with me, the answer’s probably no.”