Age: 15 1/3 months
I like: Porridge, bread sticks, mega bloks, pushing my walker, cats, boobs, not walking
There was a time I was fairly sure I would want two children – probably in quick succession considering my age and how long it took me to get pregnant with Little O. Since Little O was born though I have found my opinion somewhat changed.
Before I had a child I imagined having two children would be extremely difficult but still doable. I mean after all many people are doing it and bossing it every day. Now, even though Little O is not a particularly challenging child, having a newborn alongside him seems like an almost impossible task. He’s not tantrumy or particularly clingy. He plays nicely by himself, he mostly eats his food and he sort of sleeps now… at least sometimes. He is more or less all consuming though.
I now also know better all the things that could come with a new child… what of they had reflux or colic or slept even less than Little O or also didn’t want to be put down ever at any point in time for the first four months. I found having a very small baby so incredible hard and exhausting and frightening that I don’t feel like I’d survive it again. I just can’t work out the logistics in my head… how do you get them both to go to bed?? On the selfish side I am also not sure I would want to take almost another year out of work or put my body through such intense changes again.
But over the weekend Little O had a play date with his friend, Little M. Little M and Little O are birthday buddies although she is much more advanced than he is. Probably because she is a girl and a little legend. He was very excited to see her and watching them play together… or more like beside each other… was so incredibly cute. Little O generally absolutely loves other children. The minute he sees another child he will point with excitement and want to get to them.
As part of the play date we took both of them to the soft play at Mr O’s work. There were some other older children playing there. Little O immediately involved himself in what they were doing and to their credit they were happy to let him play. Soon they were all rolling around together playing and hugging each other. It was so much fun to watch.
Then on Sunday we visited Mr O’s cousin who has three children and the four of them all had a wonderful time playing together. And suddenly I had a pang. I am not sure if my decision not to have any more children is 100% final but I don’t have any burning desire for more. What if I am robbing Little O of the privilege and joy of having a sibling? Will he miss out on some of life’s great experiences? My brother and I were not terribly close as children. I mean we had to be physically close because it’s hard to hit someone if they’re not next to you but we didn’t exactly play nicely together. By our teens and early 20’s we were inseparable though and while we don’t see each other often now, he means the world to me.
I am not sure what the right answer is to the sibling question. What I know is that I am not ready to answer it and suddenly the idea no longer seems completely off the table… is table adjacent a thing?