Weeks old: 24
I like: Sticking my hands in mummy’s mouth and ears, biting my monkey, boobs
Mummy is learning: To stay where I can see her as much as possible to avoid me kicking off
Last weekend we put up our Christmas tree with the help of the other O’s, drank mulled wine, ate mince pies (well some of us did… some crazy people don’t like them??) and enjoyed thinking about Little O’s first Christmas and how special it will be.
As a rule I do most of our Christmas shopping online from the comfort of our sofa – this year often with my phone in one hand and a baby attached to my boob. However there are always some things that it is better to pick up in person as well as various other important reasons to head into the centre of town. Mostly the reason is just to get out of the house and go to Starbucks but it’s still important. Since the start of December town has become a bit full on as every Chelmsfordian descends on the high street, malls and of course John Lewis (a recent addition). I have never been a great lover of crowds but with a pushchair, they take on another level and I have suddenly become conscious about a whole bunch of new things that annoy me now that I have a baby… not all shopping related.
People who don’t look where they’re going
I try to be really careful with the pushchair and get out of people’s way as much as I possibly can. I know it’s not a battering ram and that having a baby doesn’t give me automatic right of way. However stopping it in full flow with no warning is harder than it looks. So when people step directly into my path without looking and no warning, slamming on the brakes and not bashing into them is quite a challenging manouevre. This is exacerbated when the person who has just made me perform the equivalent of a handbrake turn in oncoming traffic gives me a dirty look.
Shops and restaurants that are hard to get into and around
Any shop of restaurant where you have to open the door by pushing or pulling and then somehow keep it open yourself while pushing through the pushchair, or where there is a lip or a step to get in are a complete pain in the arse. I can only imagine how crap this must be for wheelchair or mobility scooter users. This is only made worse if the aisles are super narrow or the lift is bordering on being a health and safety hazard but the baby stuff is on the first floor (why???). I know shops are not necessarily built in order to accommodate mums and their special snowflakes but we do a lot of roaming around the shops to get out of the house and we’re too sleep deprived to make good decisions (cha-ching)… plus anything you do to make things more accessible will obviously make it easier for disabled people to shop with you too.
Other people’s Facebook statuses
This one is completely irrational because it’s perspective based but I now find some of the social media updates of my childless friends annoying. Anyone without kids who mentions that they are tired or struggling to find time for themselves or dying because they are ill makes me want to throat punch them. I have to restrain myself from going on a 3am comment spree just made up of me typing: “WAIT TILL YOU HAVE A BABY, THEN YOU’LL SEE” all over all the social medias. I have managed not to do this because not only do I actually like my friends and want to keep them but I also I realise that everyone is completely entitled to how they feel and I also used to think I was tired before Little O was born. There is no trophy for being the most sleep-deprived. Although I think I might be in the running if there was…
I am also depressed seeing all the awesome work Christmas parties. Even before I was pregnant, I wasn’t going out very often anymore but I’ve always loved a good Christmas party. It’s probably intensified by the fact that I haven’t been out past 7pm in six months.
Clearly overall I am just jel.
People who knock at my door
Yes, I realise that mostly they are delivering things that I have ordered online (Aside: did you know you can look on your Amazon account and see how many orders you have made each year? I have made 77 Amazon orders this year with 20 days of the year to go. That’s more than one a week. I think I have a problem)… see above Christmas shopping, but every delivery person seems to have an uncanny knack for knocking just when I have managed to get Little O to go to sleep.
Earlier this week it was a meter reader (yes, they still exist). Neither he nor I knew where the meters were, probably why they sent him since my lack of meter knowledge means I hadn’t sent any readings since we moved in. We wandered around the house for about 20 minutes opening cupboards while my baby did not nap. I thought I might stab him.
To top this off there was one day where the postman came after a particularly rotten night where I desperately needed Little O to nap. It had been a warmer night and I had slept only in a sweatshirt and knickers. I hadn’t had a chance to shower or change because Little O was so grumpy. He was asleep on me, with a boob in his mouth and I was not willing to move him or miss the urgent parcel delivery. So I answered the door as is and our regular postman pretty much saw my panties and half a boob. I think I might need to send him a sorry note…