The baby chronicles #7: Don’t ask me…

Weeks old: 7
I like: Mummy’s terrible singing, boobs, white noise, staring at things no one else can see
Mummy is learning: To make up her own songs. “Have you done a poop?” being a popular hit

When you have a tiny baby there is a series of questions everyone asks you. I think pre-baby I might have asked some of these questions myself. So I am going to let you in on a secret, no one wants to be asked these questions unless it’s by another mum, in the same boat who is genuinely offering you a venting space. Here are my answers so we can all just move on.

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Is he a good baby? What does this even mean? He’s seven weeks old. He has no concept of good and bad. All babies are “good” essentially. To be fair only people over fifty have asked me this but does anyone genuinely think I would describe my baby as “bad”?

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How is he sleeping? The world’s most loaded question. He has a teeny tiny tummy so he gets hungry which means he wakes up in the night. He also still has no concept of day or night so he doesn’t really get sleeping all night. Oh… and he gets lonesome so he sleeps in bed with us. This is where the advice is unleashed, the best advice coming of course from people who don’t have children. I am fine with how my baby sleeps and consequently how I sleep. I’m not sure what people think you’re going to answer when they ask this question or why they’re so concerned when there’s not really any way they can get involved. Same goes for asking every day, “so how was last night”? It was fine. I am fine. I promise if I want sleep advice I will ask.

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When are you going to give him a bottle? I don’t know. Maybe never. We tried once and he didn’t like it at all. We probably will try again but he’s very happy on the boob and I am very happy feeding him. It would be nice to leave him for slightly longer but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to force something on him if there is no need other than my convenience. (Absolutely no judgement on anyone’s feeding choices whatever they are and for whatever reason. Fed baby is fed baby.)

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Will you have another one? I have no idea. Possibly. I am not even sure if we can have another one. This one wasn’t that easy. Maybe we don’t want to. Maybe our minds will change a hundred times before we make a final decision but ultimately this one is less than two months old. Let’s just give my baby making areas a little break, mmkay?

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Is he in a routine? I am not sure why everyone is obsessed with everyone else’s baby’s routine. He has some sort of predictable patterns but at seven weeks trying to wrangle a baby into a routine seems like trying to teach a slug to dance – a recipe for disappointment and frustration.When I say no I often get people telling me I really must get him into one. I’ll be sure to tell him that.

Questions I would much rather you asked me:

  • Who do you think he looks like?
  • What cute things is he doing at the moment?
  • What does he like doing?
  • Can I have a cuddle?

 

21 Comments

  1. Rabia

    Can I please have a cuddle?

  2. so true! always appreciate these updates! keep em coming!

  3. Only 7 weeks? It seems longer, probably even longer to you though. I like the way they look at things we can’t see. My grandson still does that, at 20 months. I think they must see spirits or ghosts or something, even though I don’t really believe in those.
    They watch something, that’s for sure!
    Best wishes, Pete.

    1. It feels like I had him yesterday and forever ago all at once if that makes sense. I have heard the theory that they can see spirits but I don’t believe in that kind of thing either.

  4. What’s his favourite toy? 😀

    1. He actually doesn’t really interact much with toys yet but there is a little blue and white bear we hang from his pushchair that he sometimes notices and he likes the musical turtle that hangs from his play mat.

  5. Love this post Abbi, so brilliantly put 😂

    I love how relaxed you come across as with the whole thing, and I think it reflects in the adorable pictures of Little O – keep doing what you’re doing lady 😘 xx

    1. Thank you! I’d like to think I’m relatively relaxed but I definitely have moments where I feel totally overwhelmed and out of control. Poor kid… he is constantly being snapped by someone.

  6. Who do you think he looks like? And I love all the pictures you share. I know you’re biased and couldn’t possibly think anything else, but I think he’s definitely on the short list of cutest babies ever.

    1. I think he looks like my brother but then in some expressions he looks a lot like Mr O, the younger. And that’s the best thing you could say to any mum 😍

  7. He is too cute! Yes, all those questions are frustrating but I love your answers. They made me giggle.

    1. Thank you! I think people forget that babies are little people and people are all different. We all just do what works and no one really knows better than anyone else.

  8. Adorable pics! : ) lol – People are SO damn annoying with their dumb questions. And a woman I worked with (also a mother) gave me way too much unwanted advice. Like, nothing I did was “right” in her “perfect mother” mind. Drove me nuts. So glad she got another job. My kid was a terrible sleeper (didn’t sleep through the night until the age of 2) & this woman wouldn’t shut the hell up about how I was doing everything wrong to try to get her to sleep through the night. And I remember how this woman was always trying to force me to get into baking because “it’s a good thing to do with your kid”. I absolutely hate baking. Just because this woman happened to love it as a hobby, why does that mean I should do it?! Ugh. Okay, I’ll shut up now. I just really really hated that woman…. ; ) Keep doing whatever works for you! Only YOU know what’s best for your own baby. : )

    1. Thank you. That woman sounds like a total B. Every baby, like every adult, is different and so I think what works for my baby won’t necessarily work for some else’s. I’m happy to take suggestions and try the ones that sound sensible. Someone suggested white noise to me and it’s been a bedtime game changer. If anyone thinks they’ve got all the answers though they’re kidding themselves.

  9. Loving these posts abbi!

    “So I am going to let you in on a secret, no one wants to be asked these questions unless it’s by another mum, in the same boat who is genuinely offering you a venting space.”

    Good on you for pointing that out. I never ask questions about a friend’s baby, except maybe how old it is. Normally I’m having pictures of them shoved in my face 😛

    1. I think it’s fine to ask questions but some are just so pointless and the answers don’t tell you anything. How old is a good one 😊

      1. Yeah, those questions you listed seem so pointless. I can’t believe people would actually ask such inane questions!

  10. I feel so sorry for mothers that are bombarded with these silly new questions. Meh. I liked thist post, like your little venting slot xD

    1. It helps to let out the frustrations sometimes. I think most people aren’t being malicious at all but it just gets a bit exhausting!

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