The bump chronicles #19: On accepting help

Weeks pregnant: 30
Baby size in vegetables: Cabbage

Last week I finally got to see the diabetes midwife at my hospital and I have to admit that despite my initial misgivings she was actually very helpful. As hard as I have been working to keep my readings under control, there hasn’t been an improvement in my fasting numbers because the hormones are just too much. This means I am now taking a drug called Metformin, which will hopefully bring things back to normal within a few days.

Cabbage

A nice, green, leafy baby

At the time of my initial diagnosis I thought that going on medication would feel like I was admitting defeat but at this stage it is actually somewhat of a relief to be getting some help because every time I saw a high reading I was devastated about the idea that I might be hurting Little O, which was making the anxiety I have been feeling much worse.

Of course going on medication is not without consequences. It now means that I will definitely have to give birth in the hospital under some quite intensive monitoring rather than in the birthing centre and that it is recommended that I be induced atΒ 39 weeks if I have not gone into natural labour. This is not what I wanted but it will help to mitigate some of the risks associated with the gestational diabetes so it’s something I have to work on accepting.

From now until the birth I will attend clinic appointments with a group of specialists in order to monitor my condition and I will have an initial scan at 36 weeks so make sure that Little O’s growth is as expected and that he is neither unusually big nor unusually small.

This latest experience has made me realise that the anxiety I have been experiencing since the diagnosis and at earlier stages of my pregnancy is more than what I am able to deal with on my own and despite my desire to control and manage everything around me… I need help. Fortunately there is help available and the diabetes midwife has referred me to someone who will be able to provide me with some counselling sessions to help me work through my feelings pre and post birth. It’s been hard admitting that I’m overwhelmed but just acknowledging it has already felt like a step forward. Once again I have to say just how fortunate I am to have such Β loving and supportive partner without whom there is no chance I would have made it this far.

Meanwhile Little O continues to expand (and enjoy his new trick of wedging what I can only imagine is a hand or a foot under my pelvic bone and then kicking/flicking it). He also continues to be showered in gifts, this time from the team of developers I have been working with for the past six months. They are moving onto a new project in the next week or so and were sweet enough to not only take me for an outstanding lunch at Burger & Lobster but also to get Little O a teddy that jingles an an elephant comfort blanket that I imagine is going to be a huge hit. I even got a present from the ladies in my nail salon, which included a sleep suit with a raccoon on the bum and a leopard that purrs when you jiggle it.

 

17 Comments

  1. I’m glad for you, Abbi, that you you have counseling and constant monitoring.

    1. I’m hoping it will help. I have to fight my instinct to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone quite hard.

      1. As soon as you did, you’d start panicking and want them back. πŸ˜‰ If they would only step back a few paces or less often!

        1. I think once I have a better handle on what to expect I’ll feel better as well. At the moment because I’ve never really been unwell in my life I feel so uncomfortable with medical attention.

          1. It will be over soon. Hang in there!

  2. All the best with the next few weeks! 😊

  3. My co-worker went through the exact same feelings you are going through. I’m glad you have the help you need – so important. My only thoughts are that you are doing a great job and trust yourself. Thinking of you.

    1. Thank you so much. There are just so many emotions that I’m not used to managing. Being pregnant has been the biggest emotional challenge of my life.

      1. Take it easy and be good to yourself. It’s such a roller coaster of emotions. One day at a time.

  4. I am glad to hear that she was so helpful, and that you are receiving counselling. It is important! And good for you for admitting you need help – I know how hard it can be to finally relent to that.

    As for the gifts? Gosh, some people are too sweet!

    1. I still have moments where I want to run and hide rather than talking to someone but I know it will only get worse otherwise.

  5. Good for you to accept help. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a great idea. I wish you well, Abbi. You’re a treat and I’m so sorry that things aren’t easier for you. x o x

    1. Thank you. You’re so lovely. X

  6. Good luck with the metformin; I did fine on it, and hopefully you’ll also avoid the unpleasant digestive side effects that I’ve heard so much about.

    1. I had a couple of days of a bit of a dodgy stomach but it’s fine now. I think they might have to up the dose though because it’s having some effect but not as much as we were hoping for.

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