The bump chronicles #7: On my hyperactive baby and my least favourite question

Weeks pregnant: 18
Baby size in fruit: Bell pepper (still no emoji… what do the WhatsApp developers eat)

Last week I went for my somewhat belated 16 week midwife check-up. Apparently I travel too much and therefore my schedule doesn’t fit in with my local health centre’s clinic hours, so 17+3 instead of 16 it was.

bell pepper

Baby O is now the length of a bell pepper… not sure if it’s with or without stalk

Parts of my check up were performed by a somewhat timid student midwife who was constantly being told off by the senior midwife in charge. I felt really quite sorry for her. At the appointment I got the results of my previous tests and I am sure you will be as glad to hear as I was that I don’t have syphilis and I am HIV negative. Unfortunately it turns out that despite the fact that I have been immunised several times I am not immune to rubella AKA German measles, so I have to be extra careful to stay away from anyone who might have it. *Looks around for anyone with spots*.

The senior midwife also checked on Little O’s by checking on its movements and heartbeat. I was not surprised to find that the midwife had a little trouble tracking Little O down in there since he/she has days where the party never stops in there. It’s a completely indescribable feeling… kind of like having a fish flipping around in your belly. Once she had found him/her she had to hold him/her down to ensure that he/she stayed still enough to listen to the heartbeat for a full minute. It’s a very lively… and healthy little creature.

In other news people have started asking to touch my bump, which isn’t the question I don’t like. In fact I am glad that they’ve been polite enough to ask and most of the time I am happy to allow a little pat.

The question I can’t stand is, “how far gone are you?”. It’s not the fact that they’re interested in how advanced my pregnancy is, it’s because it makes me sound like I’ve been drinking or taking narcotics and I am well on my way to ending up topless on the night bus. Then again I am still not sure about the unnamed senior colleague at work who asked me the other day how the “gestation” was going…

Moms/expectant moms, was/is there a pregnancy question you hate?


  1. “…what do the WhatsApp developers eat…” – Natasha and I have been raging for years about the lack of certain emoticons (so far they have only rectified finally putting a bed up). Seriously, we don’t know what these people do.

    Yeah, the phrasing of “how far gone are you?” is a little bit… off putting, I would agree.

    1. abbiosbiston

      And then they have just weird random stuff as well. Like poop… with eyes!!! 💩

      1. But the poop is the best! Ask anyone, like Kate Winslet:

  2. Valerie

    LOL, people and their questions. 🙄 I don’t appreciate, “Was this one a surprise/accident?” Umm, no, we’ve had trouble conceiving as well as a few miscarriages, otherwise we would have had our children closer together – but thanks for reminding me! 😛

    1. abbiosbiston

      I got that as well, “was it planned?” Well I’m married and 35, what do you think? Someone also asked me what the latest was you could have an abortion. Bless him. He was just interested and figured I would know but in the context it was really weird.

  3. LOL. How’s the gestation going–good grief. I’m glad you are doing well and happy that little O is growing and healthy. I look forward to the announcement of little O’s gender and name you have planned.

    1. abbiosbiston

      About 3 weeks to go. I’m really excited to find out this next little detail too. 😊

  4. I have had friends that also don’t care for strangers touching their bumps without asking. Honestly, why does being pregnant mean people can touch you? I would probably slap someone if they touched my stomach randomly, lol. I’ve never heard the “how far gone are you” – I guess it’s more like “how far along are you” in america. how far gone are you sounds like you’ve had too many drinks for sure.

    1. abbiosbiston

      It’s quite odd… you kind of become public property and people ask very personal questions. I get how far along are you as well but I think how far gone is a uniquely British thing.

  5. I think my stock phrase is ‘When are you due?’ because then you know! If anyone asked me what I was having, I said a brain surgeon… xxx

    1. abbiosbiston

      I sometimes answer that with just “a baby or maybe a rabbit.” Xxx

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