A trip to Hampton Court Palace

It’s not often Mr O and I have whole days off at the same time. He mostly has to work at the weekend and I have a 9 -5 weekday type job. When we do have weekends off together they often end up being more about Netflix and less about adventures because we’re in our 30’s and we’re tired. Last weekend we decided to buck the trend, get our asses off the couch and go to Hampton Court Palace.

Originally I think the main reason Mr O wanted to go was because he likes saying, “don’t get your Hampton caught!” which is apparently a foreskin joke and who doesn’t love a foreskin joke (except maybe Eric who fears the penis-beanie) but I digress. Hampton Court is only about an hour outside of London (closer if you live in the south west, like we do) and is one of England’s most famous royal palaces. It was built in 1514 for Cardinal Wolsey, who was one of King Henry VIII’s favourites. When Henry, who was a bit of a temperamental chap, decided he was over Wolsey he booted him out and took it for himself, redecorating with every one of his eight wives. Later William III also lived there and did some pretty impressive expansions.

The palace is no longer occupied by the royals but it does have some very cool tours of both Henry and William’s apartments as well as Henry’s kitchens (which include a kitchen that was just for chocolate). It also has an absolutely stunning garden, which includes its famous maze.

We did our explorations using the free audioguides but if you you have kids there was a guided Time Explorer game on the go that looked absolutely epic and made me wish I was seven again. Check out our adventures below.  (Adult tickets are £19.80 bought at the door but you can get them for £15 if you buy online in advance alternatively tickets for the garden only are £4).

Mr O found transportation befitting him

Mr O found transportation befitting him

We checked out Henry VII's apartments

We checked out Henry VIII’s apartments

I realised I was born to rule

I realised I was born to rule

We were a bit confused by the painting at the start of Edward III's apartment. Was is supposed to be religious or a celebration of marriage equality?

We were a bit confused by the painting at the start of William III’s apartment. Was is supposed to be religious or a celebration of marriage equality?

We discovered that Henry VIII had a massive clock

We discovered that Henry VIII had a massive clock

The gardens were like something out of Alice in Wonderland

The gardens were like something out of Alice in Wonderland

Mr O wasn't sure about Edward's taste in statues... why would anyone do that to a boob?

Mr O wasn’t sure about Willam’s taste in statues… why would anyone do that to a boob?

He did like the gift shop though

He did like the gift shop though

We thought it would be fun to check out the maze

We thought it would be fun to check out the maze

Until we got lost

Until we got lost

The flowers were amazing

The flowers were amazing

It looked extra good from a deck chair

It looked extra good from a deck chair

We checked out all the Royal badges on the ceiling of the entrance

We checked out all the Royal badges on the ceiling of the entrance

21 Comments

  1. A kitchen just for chocolate! Òoooh!

    1. abbiosbiston

      I need one of those!

  2. You bring back fond memories–I love Hampton Court and the gardens. Your commentary made me giggle.

    1. abbiosbiston

      It’s a lovely setting. I already want to go back.

  3. Hampton Court is awesome. Funny post. I think if I went to Hampton Court maze i’d go with a super tall person haha.

    1. abbiosbiston

      I never found the middle. Mr O ran off and left me. Eventually I managed to get back out but I swear I just went in circles.

      1. Well at least it wasn’t at night and snowing haha.

  4. theipc

    Looks good and lookin’ good!!

    #penisbeanie

    1. abbiosbiston

      😆

  5. Looks like you had a really fun time. Love that photo of Mr O and the statue, really made me laugh.

    1. abbiosbiston

      There is an even weirder one of him looking up a polka dot leopard’s butt that didn’t make the cut.

      1. Hehe, that sounds quite amusing.

  6. What a cool trip. The place looks stunning.

    1. abbiosbiston

      It’s really beautiful in a very, very English way.

  7. I want that kitchen. And those gardens. That looks absolutely beautiful and looks like you guys had a fun adventure, though I am sure Netflix was damn heartbroken to be left alone all day 😉

    1. abbiosbiston

      I think Netflix enjoyed its welcome rest. Lol! It is a beautiful place. I would highly recommend it if you ever visit London.

      1. If I ever visit London I am FIRST coming to you for a good meal and then pointers on where to go and what to do lol!

        1. abbiosbiston

          Honey if you ever come to London I’d assume you were staying in my spare room!

          1. FINALLY. Accommodation sorted!

            1. abbiosbiston

              It’s a genuine offer.

              1. I truly appreciate it. Maybe sometime I will genuinely look into finally making that London trip 🙂

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