MAY STATS: The perverts are still coming and they’ve brought the weirdos with them

I know I am a couple of days late with May’s stats but I had a really busy weekend and I kind of forgot. Once again themes of masturbation are proving popular, particularly when relating to Michael Fassbender (Fernando?). Check out previous months here.

I am hoping De Niro’s monster is in reference to Frankenstein and not anything else. #frankencock And I am sorry to report that there is no nudity of significance in Mad Max, nor is Kristen Stewart a stripper. She plays one in a movie but no boobs… probably because she has none. Also my Matric Dance (Prom) was over 17 years ago, I have no idea what (or how) you should wear but I would suggest that less is more. I can understand the interest in Max Riemelt though. He is hoooooot!

May1Things don’t actually get really interesting until you go a little lower (ain’t that the truth in life generally). I have no idea why so many people seem to think I have done posts on penis but I haven’t (yet) and there definitely weren’t any on Michael Pitt. I have no idea what széchenyi fürdő legenda is or schmetlag but if anyone one knows please enlighten me. Oh and who is Googling individual blue eyes… creepy.


And then it just keeps getting weirder. I know there are some British actresses that are crap but to generalise like that is just rude, as is putting a petticoat on your husband if he doesn’t want to wear one or keeping a cock as a pet or keeping a cow in a drugstore.



  1. @ she has none:
    Do you have boobs ?

    1. abbiosbiston

      Why do you ask?

      1. because to me it makes a difference weather these lines were written by a male or female human being

        1. abbiosbiston

          But why?

  2. Ha! I love the freaks out there. I think “petticoat your husband” is my favorite. 🙂 I have to go search your blog for these kinky Michael Fassbender posts now…..

    1. abbiosbiston

      I am half tempted to Google petticoat your husband to find out if it’s a thing.

      1. Do it! I recently had to Google “John Wayne spanking”…..

  3. How in the world do you get so many weirdos is beyond me.. my only weird tag is “unstimulated sexs scene” which is alright because it links to Nymphomaniac and I’m surprised it doesn’t bring in more weird search tags… but I guess you get all of their attention. 😀

    1. abbiosbiston

      It’s all because I did that post about masturbation scenes in the movies…

  4. theipc

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! These posts are GREAT!!! I got a hit the other day for “Paul Dano is weird” and I had never been more proud!

    1. abbiosbiston

      Thanks! Paul Dano IS weird.

  5. You’ve got to collate the best ones and send them to me, so I can do a post like I did with the IPC search terms haha.

    1. abbiosbiston

      Consider it done!

  6. Again, love these! For some reason, the Eddie Marsan one is my favorite (so random) but there are also other gems here (pet cock, petticoat). I don’t think the Fassy searches are mine. I use Google Chrome in incognito mode.

    1. abbiosbiston

      You have to wonder why someone would be interested in whether Eddie Marsan and Leo were friends?? You keep up the Fassy searches and do let me know if you find anything good!

  7. I get some crazy searches leading to my blog too sometimes. I just stare at the screen and go “Uh, what…? How did ‘tiffany watkins on fuck book’ lead to my blog??” I mean, I don’t even know who/what either of those things are!! lol

    1. Or, even better, “15teen porn”. There is DEFINITELY no child porn on my page, so… how… why… hunh?? :-p

      1. abbiosbiston

        I get a couple of those as well. So gross.

    2. abbiosbiston

      It’s so weird. Like where did you people come from and how disappointed were you when you got here?

    1. abbiosbiston

      Thanks! 😊

  8. These posts always make me laugh.

    1. abbiosbiston


  9. Mwahahaha, the perverts are everywhere! But even without you posting anything sexual, they seem to find weird things on your blog anyway.

    1. abbiosbiston

      Well they’re really the reason the Internet exists so we can’t begrudge them too much.

  10. Keira Knightley annoying haha

    1. abbiosbiston

      The truth hurts. Lol!

  11. I do so enjoy these stats posts hehehehe.

    1. abbiosbiston

      They’re always a good laugh… as well as being rather disturbing.

  12. […] into how the hell anyone fouind my blog in the first place. (You can check out previous entries here). There’s been no slow down in people looking for masturbation scenes (highlighted in red on […]

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