Inspired by Cara’s recent posts about her favourite Superhero Movies on Silver Screen Serenade, which you can read here and here, I have decided to talk about my own favourite Superhero movies. I feel like this post might be a little contentious since it features exactly zero Christopher Nolan Batman movies (there is only one Batman and his name is MICHAEL KEATON) and three X-Men movies and two movies about people who don’t actually have any powers (but then neither do Batman or Black Widow) and one about people with powers who aren’t actually heroes… but here goes anyway!
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen
The heros: Professor X, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine, etc
The villains: Magneto, Mystique, Toad, Sabertooth
What’s at stake?: All of mutant kind
Power level: 9/10
“Magneto: Does it ever wake you in the middle of the night? The feeling that one day they will pass that foolish law or one just like it, and come for you? And your children?
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier: It does, indeed.
Magneto: What do you do, when you wake up to that?
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier: I feel a great swell of pity for the poor soul who comes to that school… looking for trouble.
Magneto: [halts the game, sighs] Why do you come here, Charles?
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier: Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?
Magneto: Ah, yes. Your continuing search for hope.
[motions to the guard to take Xavier away]
Magneto: You know this plastic prison of theirs won’t hold me forever. The war is still coming, Charles. And I intend to fight it, by any means necessary.
Prof. Charles Francis Xavier: And I will always be there, old friend.”
The Crow (1994)
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis
The hero: Eric Draven
The villain: Top Dollar and his band of miscreants
What’s at stake: Eric’s late girlfriend’s honour and the possibility of the city of Detroit going up in flames
Power level: 4/10
“Sarah: [voiceover] People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”
The Avengers (2012)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson
The heroes: Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, The Hulk, Black Widow
The villain: Loki
What’s at stake: Planet Earth, obs.
Power level: 10/10
“Loki: The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?
Tony Stark: The Avengers. That’s what we call ourselves; we’re sort of like a team. “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” type thing.
Loki: Yes, I’ve met them.
Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one. But let’s do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki: That was the plan.
Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they’ll come for you.
Loki: I have an army.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off…
Tony Stark: You’re missing the point! There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we’ll avenge it!”
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page, Liv Tyler
The “heroes”: Crimson Bolt, Boltie
The villains: Jacques, the drug dealer and any random criminals
What’s at stake: Crimson Bolt’s wife
Power level: 1/10 (is owning a wrench a super power?)
“Libby: You tell everyone you know! That anytime some stupid fucking bastard wants to commit some gay ass crime that Crimson Bolt and Boltie are gonna be there to crush their little fucking evil heads in!”
Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Nicolas Cage, Chloë Grace
The heroes: Kick-Ass, Big Daddy, Hit-Girl
The villains: Red Mist
What’s at stake?: Saving New York from a devious crime lord
Power level: 2/10
“Dave Lizewski: I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, TV shows. You think that one eccentric loner would’ve made himself a costume. I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools and offices so thrilling that I’m the only one who fantasized about this? Come on, be honest with yourself. At some point in our lives we all wanna be a superhero.”
X-Men: First Class (2011)
Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence
The heroes: Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr, Mystique, Beast, Banshee
The villains: Sebastian Shaw, Azazel, Emma Frost
What’s at stake?: The start of World War III
Power level: 7/10
“Dr. Moira MacTaggert: You know, one day the government is going to realize that how lucky they were to have Professor X on their side.
Professor Charles Xavier: I suppose I am a real professor, aren’t I? Next thing you know, I’ll be going bald. We’re still on the government side, Moira. We’re still G-Men. Just without the “G”.
Dr. Moira MacTaggert: No. You’re your own team now. It’s better. You’re X-Men.
Professor Charles Xavier: Yes, I like the sound of that.”
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Hugh Jackman
The heroes: Wolverine, Professor X, Storm, Beast, Iceman, Rogue, etc
The villains: Bollivar Trask, lots of robots
What’s at stake: The future of human and mutant kind
The “undecided”: Magneto, Mystique, Quicksilver
Power level: 8/10
“Charles Xavier: When did you last see her?
Erik Lehnsherr: The day I left for Dallas.
Charles Xavier: How was she?
Erik Lehnsherr: Strong. Driven. Loyal.
Charles Xavier: How… how was she?
Erik Lehnsherr: She was… We were… I could see why she meant so much to you. You should be proud of her, Charles. She’s out there, fighting for our cause.
Charles Xavier: Your cause. The girl I raised, she was not capable of killing.
Erik Lehnsherr: You didn’t raise her. You grew up with her. She couldn’t stay a little girl forever, that’s why she left.
Charles Xavier: She left because you got inside her head.
Erik Lehnsherr: That’s not my power.”
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell, Michael B. Jordan
The people with powers: Andrew, Matt and Steve
What’s at stake: Potentially the unnamed city they live in as well as their own lives and that of their families
Power level: 5/10
“Matt Garetty: Andrew! Andrew, look at me! This has to stop right now, okay? This is really, really bad. What happened to you?
Andrew Detmer: Why did you catch him?
Matt Garetty: Listen, just focus okay?
Andrew Detmer: I dropped him! Why did you catch him?
Matt Garetty: Andrew, this is not a game, do you understand? You’re hurting people!
Andrew Detmer: You’re weak, Matt! You’re all weak. I’m stronger than all of this!
Matt Garetty: Andrew, listen to me, okay? Just… I need you listen. Just focus for a second.
Andrew Detmer: Do not tell me what to do!
Matt Garetty: They can’t stop us, it’s not too late for us to go.
Andrew Detmer: It is too late. I’m done! It’s over… god, you treated me like shit! You left me alone!
Matt Garetty: Andrew, you’re not alone up here. I’m here with you! I should’ve been with you all along, but I’m here now. We can stop this right now, you and me. Andrew, we can just fly away, we can get out of here. We can be family! Andrew? Andrew, look at yourself. This isn’t who you are!
Andrew Detmer: Apex predator…
Matt Garetty: What?
Andrew Detmer: I’m an apex predator!”
Starring: Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, Kris Kristofferson
The hero: Blade
The villain: Deacon Frost and some old ass vampires
What’s at stake: The human race
Power level: 6/10
“Whistler: Frost is trying to trigger a fuckin’ vampire apocalypse. There’s some kind of vampire God he’s trying to resurrect.
Blade: La Magra.
Whistler: You’re the key. He needs your blood. The blood of the day walker. You’re the chosen one.”
Batman Returns (1992)
Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer
The hero: Batman
The villains: The Penguin, Catwoman
What’s at stake: Gotham City, baby!
Power level: 3/10
“Catwoman: You’re catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for.
Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it. You’re the second man who killed me this week, but I’ve got seven lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead… or deeply resentful. Maybe you should retire.”