Welcome all wankers

All bloggers occasionally fall into the trap of looking at the search terms that have lead people to the little corner of the internet that they call home. Recently I have fallen into the same trap.

It turns out that my blog is pretty popular with wankers (see red underlined terms)… probably my own fault because of this post. So I’d just like to say welcome to all masturbation fans. Please bring your own tissues. I apologise for the lack of gifs and videos but we keep it classy here.

There is some other very weird stuff going on here too (see blue underlined items). To all of you I apologise because there’s a pretty good chance you didn’t find what you were looking for here because I don’t recall ever doing any posts on Patrick Stump’s penis, (non-existent) connections between Nazi’s, Gogol Bordello and mustaches or Tom Cruise t-shirts. Good luck on your future endeavours.



  1. haha this is great. to dive into people’s minds..

    1. Abbi

      Their dirty, dirty minds 😉

  2. Everyone should do a post like this!

    Who types “seeexxxxxxxyy video free” into google though? Ha!

    1. Abbi

      Fourteen year old boys.

  3. theipc


    Love it!

    1. Abbi

      All of those masturbation searches were you, weren’t they?

      1. theipc



  4. Jay

    Wow, that’s some kinda infamy.

    1. Abbi

      Better to be infamous than ignored! 😛

  5. Eve

    That is so great.

    1. Abbi

      Thank-you! I am definitely going to make it a regular feature.

  6. LOL, this is awesome. I need to check out what leads people to my site.

  7. These are some of my faves:
    actresses who are a nightmare to work with
    xxx i live for this shit quote
    actresses who use nepotism
    eva green sex hot
    xxx movie
    the rise of the empire 300 hot scene
    young xxx movies
    steve carell woody allen magic in the moonlight (wtf steve carell is not in that)
    christian bale naked
    300 rise of emperor sex scene
    emily blunt hot
    hot eva green

    1. Abbi

      These are great. I feel for the poor delusional person who thought Steve Carell was in Magic in the Moonlight!

  8. MIB

    I just checked my stats and found a similar thing:

    sexsion movie
    the house of my mother marcel eats grasshopper
    sofia romano lesben video
    film naked ambition 2014 sex acene nude vimeo
    la cite des enfants perdus talking brain
    the great magician li feng-jen’s sister actress
    jo yeo jeong boobs
    salim halali gay
    yeo-jeong jo boob
    wheelchair bound erotic story
    hollywood most hilarious sex comedy movie
    noriko waiyama f**k
    nana seino sex
    teen sex
    funny sex films
    ken shimizu nude
    sex comedy hollywood
    exterminating angels movie actress nude
    ai tominaga dominatrix pics
    gay halaly
    antique korea kiss scene
    zwei mÜtter sex scene
    noriko waiyama jav
    what are the names of the war that involved bow and arrows
    zwei mütter sex scene
    suzuran boys face
    in the realm of the senses (1976) egg laying scene


    1. Abbi

      All of our readers are perverts!!

  9. This is hilarious. I think my favourite one is with the word ‘sseeexxxyyyyyy’ in it, as if by elongating the word you’re able to find exactly what you’re looking for.

    1. Abbi

      Maybe it gives you extra ssexxxxxyyy videos… more than regular sexy ones.

  10. Hilarioussssss 🙂

    1. Abbi

      I think I might do it monthly from now on.

  11. So funny, that’s some interesting search terms there.

    1. Abbi

      Some of them are genuinely baffling. I am clearly attracting some crazy!

      1. Definitely attracting some unusual search terms.

  12. LOL! Lady, I am pinning this on your saucy top ten list about masturbation xD

    1. Abbi

      It’s so my own fault but I think the original idea came from Table Nine Murant so she is equally to blame!

  13. how random — and perverted — are these searches?!? Almost too afraid to see my blog’s…

    1. Abbi

      I think there are way too many people who only use the Internet for one thing.

  14. […] the popularity of my post on the search terms that lead people to my blog in February, I have decided to make this a regular […]

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