Over the weekend, Laura over at Film Nerd Blog did a post on 5 films she dislikes but everyone else seems to love. Although I actually like most of the films she didn’t I thought it was an excellent idea for a top ten because god knows I love a bit of negativity! So here are ten movies that I totally don’t get the hype about. They’re not all movies I hate but they are all definitely ones that I really don’t understand the hype about.
The Graduate (1967)
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross
According to IMDB: 8.1/10
According to Abbi: 2.5/5
Where did it all go wrong?: Maybe it’s because I watched it on a plane in the middle of the night when I was in a grump but this movie just annoyed me. I found Ben’s relationship with Elaine a bit ridiculous and as silly as it sounds I just couldn’t buy teeny tiny little Dustin Hoffman as a romantic lead… which might also be related to the fact that he looks just like my dad!
“Mr. Braddock: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half-baked.
Benjamin: Oh, it’s not. It’s completely baked.”
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Starring: Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze
IMDB says: 6.8
Abbi says: 1.5/5 (just for the dancing)
Where did it all go wrong?: I’m sorry but the music is lame, Baby is really annoying and Johnny Castle is a bit of a dirty old perv. Plus the whole abortion storyline is very odd. Predictable, cheese!
“Baby: Have you had many women?
Baby: Have you *had* many women?
Johnny: Baby, come on.
Baby: Tell me. I wanna know.
Johnny: No, no. Look, you’ve gotta understand what it’s like, Baby. You come from the streets and suddenly you’re up here, and these women, they are throwing themselves at ya, and they smell so good, and they really take care of themselves. I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know? And they’re so rich, they’re so goddam rich, you think they must know about everything. And they’re slipping their room keys in my hands, two and three times day, different women. So, here I think I’m scoring big, right? And for a while, you think, hey, they wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t care about me, right?
Baby: That-that’s alright, I understand. You were just using them, that’s all.
Johnny: No, no that’s not it. That’s the thing, Baby, see it wasn’t like that. They were using me.”
Die Hard (1988)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman
According to IMDB: 8.3/10
I say: 2.5/5
Where did it all go wrong?: I was really, really bored… and I fell asleep. I didn’t think John McClane was that funny or clever and like most action movies it seemed to go on forever.
“Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?”
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Starring: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway
IMDB claims: 8.6/10
Abbi thinks more like: 3/5
Where did it all go wrong: I didn’t like any of Nolan’s Batman trilogy really but The Dark Knight Rises is overlong, and full of questionable political messages, superfluous characters and plot holes. While there’s no question that it’s action packed and sufficiently “dark”, I found the whole to be considerably less than the sum of its parts.
“Catwoman: My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men.
Batman: This isn’t a car.”
Easy A (2010)
Starring: Emma Stone, Penn Badgeley, Amanda Bynes
IMDB is going with: 7.2/10
Abbi thinks: 2/5
Where did it all go wrong?: I couldn’t get my head around the idea that a character as smart, sassy and confident as Olive would sell faked sexual experiences to boys for gift cards she didn’t even seem to want. Plus there’s a nasty undercurrent of homophobia in the fact that Olive starts her career as pretend school slut by encouraging her gay best friend (Dan Byrd) to fake being straight to get bullies off his back.
“Olive Penderghast: [to Brandon as she takes off her panties] Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?!”
The Kings Speech (2010)
Starring: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter
According to IMDB: 8.1/10
According to Abbi: 3/5
Where did it all go wrong?: I didn’t think this tale of a man (who happens to be the king of England) forced to face and overcome his own limitations was anything more than quite sweet and in all honesty I was bored.
“Queen Elizabeth: [Using the name “Mrs. Johnson”] My husband’s work involves a great deal of public speaking.
Lionel Logue: Then he should change jobs.
Queen Elizabeth: He can’t.
Lionel Logue: What is he, an indentured servant?
Queen Elizabeth: Something like that.”
The Lion King (1994)
Starring (voices): Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones
IMDB says: 8.5/10
Abbi says: 3/5
Where did it all go wrong?: Look, I could have made this whole thing about Disney and how I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s because I had to watch this movie about 4 bazillion times with the little girl that I used to babysit but the songs are annoying and Timon and Pumba are annoying and I didn’t buy into the heavy handed morals.
“Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don’t wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They’re fireflies. Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything’s gas.”
The Notebook (2004)
Starring: Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling
IMDB claims: 8/10
Abbi thinks it would be more realistic to go for: 1/5
Where did it all go wrong?: I couldn’t get my head around why Allie would go for Noah. He’s a moody bastard and her fiance is lovely. Plus I don’t see the traged2010y of the film. People get old and then they die and sometimes they forget stuff first. It’s the circle of life (see I learned something from The Lion King). Noah and Allie were together for decades, which she was conscious of during them. It’s not like she hit her head and forgot him when she was thirty.
“Young Allie: When I’m with Noah I feel like one person and when I’m with you I feel like someone totally different.
Lon: Allie, it’s normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don’t want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me.
Young Allie: You don’t have to. I already know I should be with you.”
Toy Story 3 (2010)
Starring (voices): Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack
IMDB scores it: 8.4/10
Abbi scores it: 3/5
Where did it all go wrong?: Don’t get me wrong as animated films go, this is pretty good, but I didn’t get a lump in my throat when Andy’s toys faced destruction… maybe if he’d have been the owner of a Catbus it might have been different. I am the least sentimental person on earth when it comes to possessions.
“Mr. Potato Head: [after spending the night in the daycare sandbox] It was cold and dark, nothing but sand and a couple of Lincoln Logs.
Hamm the Piggy Bank: Eh… I don’t think those were Lincoln Logs.”
The Doors (1991)
Starring: Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan, Kyle McLachlan
IMDB gives this: 7.2/10
Abbi gives it: 2/5
Where did it all go wrong?: Morrison comes across as a self-indulgent brat and the whole film appears to be pandering to his supposed genius. It’s like two and a half hour “wasn’t the sixties all free and poetic” wankathon with little direction and barely a storyline.
“Jim Morrison: I believe in a long prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown… Although I live in the subconscious, our pale reason hides the infinite from us.”