Film Friday #165

Swimfan (2002)

When a sexy new girl, Madison Bell (Erika Christensen) starts at swimming star, Ben Cronin’s (Jesse Metcalfe) school, he makes an effort to make her feel welcome even though he has a girlfriend (Shiri Appleby). Initially he’s just being nice but teenage hormones take over and Ben ends succumbing to Madison’s charms. Wracked with guilt he tries to put the incident behind him but Madison is obsessed and systematically starts to tear his life apart. This standard teen stalker drama starts relatively well but soon descends into chaos. The idea that Madison could wreck this level of carnage unchecked is implausible, as is the weird back story that attempts to explain why Madison behaves the way she does… and what is up with the weird cousin?Also [SPOILER ALERT] when Ben is suspected of running his girlfriend’s bike off the road, he has an airtight alibi but this seems to just get completely ignored. You get the feeling that the writers decided to chuck everything but the kitchen sink at this to ramp up the drama where actually something more subtle would have had a lot more impact. I suppose at least it’s only 85 minutes long. 1/5

Look dude, don't get all up in my grill just because my pecs are bigger than yours

Look dude, don’t get all up in my grill just because my pecs are bigger than yours

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Robert Downey Jnr plays the eponymous detective with Jude Law as his Watson in this incarnation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous character. Holmes and Watson are congratulating themselves after catching murderous “sorcerer” Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) but after he appears to rise from the dead, the two detectives must unravel a dastardly plot involving secret societies, nefarious devices and Sherlock’s one great weakness, Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams). But really the story plays second fiddle to Downey Jr’s portrayal of Holmes as charismatic, brilliant, selfish and very capable in a fight, with Law providing the perfect straight man. I know a lot of people envision Holmes as an elderly man in a deerstalker but if you actually read Conan Doyle’s mysteries, he’s still a man in his prime, there is loads of action and Sherlock never shies away from a scrape. Of course the other star of this film is the chemistry between the two leads. It is easy to believe that they are best friends almost to the point where you start to wonder if Holmes is a little bit too jealous of Watson’s fiancee, Mary (Kelly Reilly). This is a riotous adventure, packed with action, laughs, peril and plenty of excitement. I loved it.Β 4.5/5

It's not what it looks like

It’s not what it looks like

Tangled (2010)

After being kidnapped as a baby because her hair has anti-aging and healing powers, princess Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore) has been kept captive her whole life in a tower by the evil, Gothel (voiced by Donna Murphy)Β  – like a brothel but more Goth. When robber, Finn Ryder (voiced by Zachary Levi) accidentally comes across her tower while trying to escape from the palace guards he makes a deal with her that he will take her out of the tower to see some lantern if she gives him back the treasure he’s nicked. And then I fell asleep a bit because it was as boring as all hell. When I woke up it seemed that Flynn’s name had changed to Eugene, which was interesting. Anyway, bits of this movie were quite cute and the horse and the chameleon were pretty funny but overall there is nothing about Tangled that particularly makes it stand out from any other Disney princess movies. Rapunzel is quite feisty but ultimately she’s still a pretty, princess who needs a boy for her life to begin. 2.5/5

Scotch, scotchy, scotch... down into my belly

Scotch, scotchy, scotch… down into my belly

The Princess and The Frog (2009)

Tiana (voiced by Anika Noni Rose) has always dreamed of owning her own restaurant and spends her life working flat out to earn the money to pay for her dream. When Prince Naveen (voiced by Bruno Campos) visits the Louisiana Bayou where she lives she takes a catering job from her friend, Lottie (Jennifer Cody) who is hosting a party in his honour but little does she know that prince has been turned into a frog by a Voodoo practitioner and replaced with his butler (?). The prince mistakes Tiana for a princess and convinces him to kiss her in the hope that she’ll turn him human again but in the end they both end up as frogs. Now they must travel through the bayou together to find Mama Odie (voiced by Jennifer Lewis) who might be able to turn them back – on the way meeting lots of new interesting friends and making friends with each other. I was quite enjoying this one until it came to the end and Tiana was basically willing to give up her whole dream for a man… typical Disney. Bah.Β 2.5/5

Well this is a load of old shit

Well this is a load of old shit

28 Comments

  1. I like both Tangled and Princes and the Frog a touch more than you, but it quite agree on Sherlock. Loads of fun that one.

    I haven’t seen Swimfan. You’ve convinced me not to change that. πŸ™‚

    1. Abbi

      I’m generally not a Disney fan at all so it’s rare that I enjoy them. I’m the one person on earth who doesn’t get Toy Story.

      You won’t be missing anything if you skip Swimfan.

  2. I completely disagree with your Rapunzel and Tiana assessments and there are way too many shirtless dudes in this post.

    1. Abbi

      Hahahahha! There are never too many shirtless dudes.

      I always know I’m going to be unpopular when I review anything Disney.

  3. theipc

    LOL at your Sherlock Holmes capture. “Beneath this pillow you will find the key to my release.”

    LOL!!!!

    1. Abbi

      I always aim to please and amuse with the captions.

      1. Successfully, I may add!

    2. Lol! I love how Abbi says completely filthy things in a smart way… ; )

      1. Abbi

        Years of working with sales people.

  4. I can imagine you watching Swimfan marking minutes like a prisoner on the wall πŸ˜‰

    1. Abbi

      It was a bit like that. The whole thing was plotted as if written by a fifteen year old.

    2. Well, it was better than the script of Spring Breakers which was written by his 12 year old brother LoL

      1. Abbi

        Lol… yeah it does have a bit of a teenage boy feel about it but I don’t think Spring Breakers is really about the script.

  5. I enjoyed The Swimfan, because it was so ridiculous. Sometimes I need a dosage of something totally unrealistic to get a better grip of reality afterwards! πŸ˜€ I am pretty sure you will despise The Roommate, too. So you might want to pass on that one. I also liked the Princess and The Frog, I loved the idea of Evangelie. πŸ˜€ And I loved loved loved the Theme Song of Casandra Steen and NE-Yo. Tangled was pretty lame. I think that’s why I didn’t enjoy Frozen so much, because it was made by the same people. Uncreative minds…

    1. Abbi

      I have actually seen and reviewed The Roommate: https://wherethewildthingsare14.wordpress.com/2012/10/19/film-friday-102/. And you were right. I didn’t love it. For me The Princess and the Frog started really well but I didn’t like how it ended at all and that ruined it for me. I still haven’t seen Frozen. Probably won’t until it ends up on VOD. If I’m going to fall asleep in front of a movie I’d rather do it on my own couch than in the theatre πŸ˜‰

      1. Oh God, that happened to me before, and I woke up from my own snoring… *Embarrassing*

        1. Abbi

          Hahaha! I did that on the tube once…

          1. LoL… Yup been there done that, too!

  6. Interesting. I hadn’t seen those two Disney movies but I always hear how cute they are and that Disney is supposedly turning over a new leaf and writing empowered female characters. Maybe not so much. I’ve heard similar things about “Frozen,” unfortunately. I mean… I loved watching Disney movies growing up, but… now I do find them a bit appalling.

    1. Abbi

      They pay lip service but at the end of it the female characters are still pretty lame. Brave was a bit better but Disney still makes every one of my feminist itches flare up. When I was a kid I loved The Little Mermaid. You know the one with the female lead who decides to give up her ability to communicate in exchange for the opportunity to change everything about herself for a man…

      1. HAHAHAHA! Right?! That was my favorite too. And now I’m just like…. dafuq?

  7. I love Guy Ritchie’s vision of Sherlock, and the chemistry between RDJ and Law. Haven’t seen Tangled (doesn’t really interest me) but The Princess and The Frog, despite the nice music, sucked.

    1. Abbi

      I really wasn’t sure about the idea of Sherlock before I first saw it back when it actually came out but it really works and I think it kicked off the renewed interest in the original works, which lead to the BBC series and the American, Elementary, both of which are pretty cool. I wouldn’t bother with Tangled. There is nothing special about it.

      1. Thanks. I think I’ll follow your recommendation.

  8. Lol – Swimfan sucked so much. Not seen Sherlock Holmes. And you were too mean to the princess movies. As I’d expect. Lol! ; )

    1. Abbi

      I think you’d love Sherlock Holmes. You should really check it out. I tried to love the princess movies but I just couldn’t.

  9. MIB

    Wow – Even I enjoyed Tangled! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

    1. Abbi

      Sorry… I know I’m heartless. I just really struggle with Disney.

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