Film Friday #145

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Days before her sixteenth birthday, Clary Fray (Lily Collins) finds herself drawing strange symbols and also seeing unusual tattooed people that no one else can see. When her mother (Lena Headley) goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Clary and her best friend, Simon (Robert Sheehan) are must turn to Jace Wayland (Jamie Campbell Bower) and his compatriots, members of a race of demon-slaying warriors known as Shadowhunters in the institute they call home. Here Clary will have to embrace her destiny and quite possibly also Jace, while protecting the mortal cup from villain, Valentine (Jonathan Rhys). Where to start… I have read (and loved) the series of books this installment of the Mortal Instruments franchise is supposed to be based on. I have a little addiction to YA, sue me. I have to wonder if the team that made the film bothered with the reading bit though. The Mortal Instruments has an intricate and developed mythology that is barely given any explanation, leaving those who haven’t read the books forced to make several leaps of logic. Pair this with some very uneven treatment of most of the characters, particularly Campbell Bower’s Jace and a lack of intensity or sensitivity in dealing with Clary and Jace’s unusual parentage and it’s just a bit of a disaster area. Probably best avoided. Just read the books instead. 1/5

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Stop in the name of my orgasm face!

We’re the Millers

When minor drug-dealer, David (Jason Sudeikis) gets into trouble with his boss (Ed Helms) he is forced to agree to a job where he’ll have to go to Mexico to collect some weed and smuggle it over the border in a mobile home. Convinced that a family is much less likely to get stopped, David convinces his stripper neighbour (Jennifer Anniston), a local runaway (Emma Roberts) and a ridiculously innocent local kid (Will Poulter) to pretend to be his family. Throwing together this group of mismatched individuals leads to hijinks, which are intensified when they cross paths with a wholesome family also travelling in a mobile home. There are moments of real humour and real filth in this often predictable comedy…  enough to make it watchable but forgettable. 2.5/5

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Fresh from advertising Dorito’s world’s whitest Mariachi band was on tour

Threesome

After an administrative error, college roommates Eddy (Josh Charles) and Stuart (William Baldwin) find themselves sharing a suit of rooms with the beautiful and very female, Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle). When initial disgust turns to friendship, Alex finds herself attracted to Eddy, while Eddy fancies Stuart and Stuart pines after Alex. Oh dear. As the three get closer and closer they start to wonder if exploring their attractions might work best… as a threesome. I guess this was somewhat scandalous when it came out but in a television era that includes things like Skins it all seems a little tame and the acting (particularly from Baldwin) and plot development are less than inspiring. 2/5

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Is that a giant lizard?

A Knight’s Tale

After his master is killed, peasant squire Will (Heath Ledger) convinces his fellow squires, Wat (Alan Tudyk) and Roland (Mark Addy) to help him pass himself off as a knight so that he can enter jousting competitions and win them enough money to survive. With the help of Geoffrey Chaucer – yes, really – (Paul Bettany) and a female blacksmith (Laura Fraser), the newly invented Ulrich von Lichtenstein soon becomes the darling of the jousting circuit and of noble totty, Jocelyn’s (Shannyn Sossamon) heart. But his greatest rival, Count Adhemar (Rufus Sewell) smells a rat and will do anything to expose Will for what he really is. A Knight’s Tale really shouldn’t work – it’s cheesy, predictable, historically inaccurate and over two hours long… however there is something about its tongue in cheek sense of humour and the chemistry between the characters that makes it (for me anyway) endlessly rewatchable. 3.5/5

We should so put this on Facebook

We should so put this on Facebook

6 Comments

  1. Bronwyn

    I can watch A Knights Tale over and over too. Just love Paul Bettany in it too!

    1. Abbi

      He is brilliant in it. I think it’s sad he hasn’t done more humourous roles. He has great comic timing.

  2. theipc

    I remember A Knight’s Tale being incredibly fun – now I want to watch it again – thanks for the reminder!

    1. Abbi

      It’s a great popcorn movie!

  3. I wondered about the Mortal Instruments series of books. I’m a YA lover too but there have been SO many the past several years that looked good that I don’t know which ones I should bother with as I’d never have time to read them all. Looks like I can skip the movie, though! Not sure about We’re The Millers – those Aniston movies are always forgettable. Never saw Threesome but almost rented it several times! I love A Knight’s Tale – it’s just so much fun. 🙂

    1. Abbi

      I found The Mortal Instruments really addictive. I mean it’s YA so it’s full of cliches and cheese but they’ve got a lot of action and they move really fast. Interestingly, I actually think the other series she did in the same universe (but set in Victorian London), The Infernal Devices was even better. Just stay away from Beautiful Creatures… horrendous!

      I think We’re The Millers would probably be a fine Sunday afternoon movie but I wouldn’t bother seeing it in the cinema.

      Everyone loves A Knights Tale… except my husband, who spent the whole time we were watching it rolling his eyes and pointing out the historical inaccuracies!

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