Film Friday #144


With Earth becoming progressively more polluted and over-populated its wealthiest residents have fled the planet, to live on an idyllic satellite known, as Elysium where no one ever gets sick or old. Earth’s remaining inhabitants are ruled from afar by Elysium’s ruthless robot police, with those who are lucky enough to have jobs working in sweat shops to serve the needs of the elite. When factory worker, Max (Matt Damon) is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation during an industrial accident and left with only five days to live, he agrees to do one more job for a previous criminal acquaintance (Wagner Moura) in order to buy his passage onto an illegal ship to Elysium. Little does he realise that he will gain access to information powerful enough to bring Elysium to its knees. With both Elysium’s head of security (Jodie Foster) and her psychopathic operative Kruger (Sharlto Copley), Max is forced to explore the absolute limits of his endurance. There are some great things about Elysium. It looks fantastic, the story is coherent and Matt Damon does a great job of making his character relatable and engaging. On the other hand, director Neill Blomkamp’s delivery of what is a very apt metaphor for first world capitalism is done with a sledgehammer, which somehow detracts from its power. You also have to wonder why a South African director chose to depict his South African mercenary characters like crap action 80’s movie South African baddies. It just felt like Kruger and his compatriots lacked any kind of character development. All in all, good but not great. 3/5

Nope, I don't see anything in your ear. I don't know what's happened to that piece of Lego.

Nope, I don’t see anything in your ear. I don’t know what’s happened to that piece of Lego.

Kick Ass 2

A couple of years have passed and real life “super hero” Kick Ass AKA Dave Lizewski (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has inspired a legion of copycat vigilantes. At the same time Hit Girl AKA Mindy Macready (Chloe Moretz) has put away her costume and is attempting life as a normal teenage girl, which is unsurprisingly more treacherous than beating the shit out of criminals. It’s not long before Dave gets bored and lonely and joins up with a motley group of fellow “super heroes”, led by former mafia hit man, Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey). At the same time Chris D’Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) has become obsessed with getting revenge on Kick Ass for the death of his father. Following the untimely death of his mother, he reinvents himself as a super villain (who I won’t name so I don’t ruin the hilarity for anyone who hasn’t seen it) and sets about recruiting his own crew of violent nutters. As with the first Kick Ass there are real life consequences to everyone’s actions and Kick Ass finds himself squaring up to an epic battle where only the help of Hit Girl will get him through. This sequel is ruder, cruder and even more violent than the first one. I know that’s put a lot of people off, along with a certain lack of subtlety. Personally I found it absolutely hilarious. Mr Osbiston and I were on the floor laughing all the way through so much so that I didn’t find the time to really think about much other than the next joke. Taylor-Johnson is still a bit crap (except when he takes his shirt off) and this is really very much Moretz’s movie but if you need a good, filthy laugh you could do a lot worse. 4/5

One, two, three four. I declare a thumb war!

One, two, three four. I declare a thumb war!

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

At the beginning of this documentary, Aussie stockbroker, Joe Cross is 100lbs overweight, completely unfit and suffering from an autoimmune disorder which forces him to take a cocktail of steroids to keep his symptoms at bay. After deciding to kick the disease and the medication, he goes on a 60 day juice fast while travelling across the USA educating the people he meets about the benefits of a plant-based diet rich in micro-nutrients. Watching Joe’s transformation is impressive but this, “Supersize Me in reverse” gets really interesting when Joe meets, Phil Staples, an even more overweight trucker suffering from the same condition convincing him to take the same challenge. It’s not often you watch a genuinely inspiring film but seeing these two turn their lives and their health around is amazing and while I can’t say I intend to undertake a juice fast any time soon, it’s definitely made me up my fruit intake. 4/5

Should have had the juice...

Should have had the juice…

Mirror Mirror

There’s not much point in explaining the plot of this one. It’s a pretty standard interpretation of the Snow White story with Julia Roberts playing the wicked queen, Lily Collins as Snow White and Armie Hammer as the prince. I can only imagine this was made solely with preteen girls in mind. It’s silly to the point of distraction, the characters are completely underdeveloped, the dialogue is moronic, the acting is hammy and it’s hard not to become mesmerised by Collins’ colossal eyebrows. Avoid. 0/5



Is that a bird on your head or are you just happy to see me?


  1. Really boring claim to fame but the Fat Sick and Nearly dead guy works with my wife, as she is the buyer that brought those juicers to the UK. She made me watch the film, then the longer film, and the adverts………Lol 🙂

    1. Abbi

      That is very interesting. So have you been on any juice fasts then?

      1. No, hate veg and prefer my fruit as a piece not juice! She uses it though 🙂

  2. theipc

    Love it – Kick Ass 2 was awesome!!

    1. Abbi

      I don’t know why so many people are slating it. I mean it’s hardly deep but it’s really, really funny, which is so rare these days.

      1. theipc

        It was hysterical – I wish I could remember the Justice Forever mantra.. it cracked me up!

  3. I’m desperate to see Elysium even though I know it’s no District 9 – will hopefully catch it this week. Doubt I’ll see Kick Ass because I really didn’t like the first one. :-/ Not heard of Fat Sick And Nearly Dead but it sounds interesting. Mirror Mirror looks appalling – I watched Snow White and the Huntsman instead because at least it had Chris Hemsworth to look at. And no one who is related to Phil Collins. And no Julia Roberts.

    1. Abbi

      If you didn’t like the first Kick Ass you definitely won’t enjoy this one so I would suggest avoiding it. Elysium is definitely worth a watch but it’s definitely not on the same scale as District 9. My boss recommended Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead to me otherwise I would not have heard of it either. Avoid Mirror Mirror at all costs. It is completely brain dead. I actually quite liked Snow White and the Huntsmen. Although I think Kristen Stewart is a bit of a twat I think she gets a bad rap as an actress.

      1. Lol! A bit of a twat… I like your honesty. 😉 She gets on my nerves but Twilight really didn’t help that. I actually really liked The Runaways – her AND Dakota Fanning! Yet I really enjoyed it…

        1. Abbi

          I liked The Runaways too!

  4. We are on the same page with both Elysium and Kick Ass 2. I am confused by all the Kick Ass 2 hate. Did folks not see the first film or are they not familiar with the source material? Sort of like folks going to a bar and complaining that people there are getting drunk.

    1. Abbi

      Haha! That’s a great analogy. I’m not quite sure what people were expecting. I was only expecting to have a lot of fun… And that most definitely happened.

      1. Yup a fun watch for sure.

  5. Oh man, Mirror Mirror SUCKED. I got dragged there by one of my friends when she and her colleagues had like a movie afternoon thing. Besides the fact that I was very audibly huffing, puffing and sighing, I had missed the first twenty minutes of this, so when Sean Bean popped up I was like “OH MY GOD HE SURVIVED!”. And the theatre thought I was talking about his character. Pffffff.

    1. Abbi

      It was the worst. I cannot understand the positive reviews.

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