Film Friday #109

Great Expectations

Pip (Toby Irvine), an orphaned boy raised by his sister and her blacksmith husband, has a strange encounter with an escaped convict (Ralph Fiennes) not long before the mysterious and very wealthy Miss Havisham (Helena Bonham Carter) invites him to play with her young charge, Estella (Helena Barlow). After some time Miss Havisham declares Pip unfit for Estella and banishes him from her crumbling mansion. Years later an anonymous benefactor sets Pip (Jeremy Irvine) up as a gentleman in London where he encounters Estella (Holliday Grainger) again, but will he ever be good enough for her and is his benefactor really who he thinks it is? While this interpretation of the Charles Dickens classic is visually sumptuous, it has quite serious pacing problems and both the lack of development of Estella’s character and the lack of chemistry between Irvine and Grainger are hard to ignore. 2/5

What do you mean Johnny Depp is not in this film?

What do you mean Johnny Depp is not in this film?

Ghosts of Mars

During a prisoner transport mission, a group of human colonists on Mars is attacked by people possessed by the “ghosts” of the original inhabitants of Mars. It’s not long before they are faced with a zombified army of self-mutilators bent on scouring them from the face of the planet. I was definitely not the target audience for this film and half drifted off about ten minutes into it. It’s like one long extended heavy metal video. Maybe good for twelve year old boys but a snorefest for me. 0/5

Lordi's Eurovision 2013 plans were going well

Lordi’s Eurovision 2013 plans were going well

Young Adult

After a crisis of confidence, selfish ghost writer, Mavis (Charlize Theron) decides to head back to her hometown and get back together with her highschool boyfriend, Buddy (Patrick Wilson). Unfortunately for Mavis, Buddy is happily married with a small baby and not one bit interested in her advances. In fact, the only person Mavis seems to have anything in common with is disabled loser, Matt (Patton Oswalt). Mavis’ inability to understand anyone else’s perspective and her truly horrible personality makes this a hard, if occasionally amusing watch.  Very average. 2/5

Ben & Jerry's the breakfast of champions

Ben & Jerry’s the breakfast of champions

The Omen

After his son is stillborn, American ambassador Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) is convinced by priests to swap his baby with an abandoned new born without telling his wife (Lee Remick). When young Damian’s nanny commits suicide at his fifth birthday party, journalist, Jennings (David Warner) becomes suspicious that all is not right with the child (Harvey Stephens). As strange happenings escalate, the priest who placed Damian with the Thorns makes Robert aware of a disturbing prophesy about the child he has adopted.  Now Robert and Jennings must work together to try and prevent a terrible evil before it’s too late. This dated but gripping horror is truly excellent and quite scary. It might even put you off breeding for a couple of years.  4/5

Run... it's Boris Johnson!!!

Run… it’s Boris Johnson!!!

abbiosbiston is listening...

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