Film Friday… week 84


Having found the same “star map” on several of unconnected pieces of prehistoric art, a group of scientists travels across the galaxy to a mysterious planet in the hope of finding the race that created humanity. It soon becomes clear that the “architects” they are looking for may not feel quite as warm and fuzzy about their progeny as humans feel about them and that there is something very sinister lurking in the giant dome on the planet’s service. The story cleverly overlaps the human crews’ search for their origins and the meaning of life with an android crew member’s search for why humans created him and Michael Fassbender is brilliantly creepy in the role. There are some maddening flaws in the logic of this film and it ultimately raises more questions than answers, although I guess if you’re planning several sequels this is a good thing. Overall I found it pretty exciting but I have to wonder if that was partly down to seeing it in 3D IMAX, which makes everything exciting. 3/5

Elizabeth was always getting ahead of herself…

Caché (Hidden)

A Parisian middle-class couple (Daniel Auteil and Juliette Binoche) finds their marriage pushed to the breaking point when a series of video tapes are left outside their house. Initially the tapes consist of surveillance of the front of their house but they soon start to allude to the husband’s past and an incident that marred his childhood. This film is often confusing and comes to no real conclusion. In fact afterwards I sat back, tried to make sense of what happened and failed. That said, it’s very thought-provoking and exceptionally well acted. 3/5

Jacques loved showing people his large and impressive… library.

Lady Jane

Forced by her scheming parents to marry Guildford, the boorish son (Cary Elwes Princess Bride style smokingly hot… what happened???) of an even more schemey member of King Henry VIII’s court, Lady Jane Grey (Helena Bonham Carter) is surprised to find herself head over heels in love with her husband. She’s even more surprised when after further scheming by both sets of parental, she finds herself Queen of England. Guildford and Jane’s idealism is charming as they attempt to set the world to rights but Henry’s daughter Mary (Jane Lapotaire) isn’t thrilled about giving up her rights to the throne, with fatal results for the young lovers. 2.5/5

I can’t wait till I grow up and typecast in the generic role of “batshit crazy”

Nick of Time

In the most convoluted assassination attempt ever, mild-mannered widower, Gene (Johnny Depp) is faced with either murdering the governor (Marsha Mason) or his daughter (Courtney Chase) being killed by a pair of sinister hit men (Christopher Walken and Roma Maffia). And he only has 90 minutes to do it.  It doesn’t take Gene long to realise that everyone is in on the plot, including the Governor’s own people and that he has no one to turn to if he wants his daughter to live. There are no words to describe how painfully boring and contrived this film is. We strongly considered breaking all the rules of film Friday and turning it off 20 minutes in. If you have the choice, watch paint dry instead. 0/5

What do mean the plot makes no sense?

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