Film study…week 59

Eat Pray Love

One of the main reasons I decided to watch this film was to find out if it was really as awful as Dominic said it was in his review, Eat Pray Loathe. It was. Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts) decides that her husband’s (Billy Crupdup) perfect reasonable suggestion that he go back to uni to study to be a teacher is divorce worthy, as it stops her from being the centre of the entire UNIVERSE. She then shags a hot guy (James Franco) who is into like ,spiritual shit, before throwing another hissy fit and taking off on a journey to find herself. She goes from Italy, to India to Bali… eating and crying and convincing herself and everyone else that she doesn’t need a man to be happy… before running off into the sunset with, wait for it, A MAN (Javier Bardem)! If that wasn’t lame enough, look out for the scene were Liz laments the fact that she has gained weight from scoffing pizzas in Italy and then slides her perfect size zero figure into a pair of jeans, clearly made for a child, to prove it. Ugh! If any film ever deserved a working title of First World Problems, this is it!

I have exchanged this rather fine camel for you. You're my wife now, Dave.

The Illusionist

In this animated gem, a down on his luck, French illusionist travels to the UK to seek his fortune. In Scotland he meets and develops a relationship with a girl who believes his magic is real. There is a charming simplicity to this almost dialogue-free tale but under the pretty surface are a lot of very dark themes dealt with in a disturbingly matter-of-fact way. Really worth watching, especially for the antics of the very angry rabbit.

Dinner is served!

Jonah Hex

Sometimes the interpretation of graphic novels into film can result in total awesomeness. This is not one of those times. Josh Brolin is Jonah Hex, a disfigured former confederate soldier hell bent on revenge against the man who murdered his family (John Malkovitch). He also has the ability to talk to the dead, by briefly bringing them back to life, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately he only does it twice in the entire film, which is less cool. Most of the time I had no idea what was going on and I didn’t care enough to try and figure it out. If you’re into that kind of thing, it might be worth seeing for Megan Fox, who flounces around in a corset, playing the tart with a heart role in her usual plank-like way.

Jonah was in no way using his gun as a way to compensate for his miniscule penis... IN NO WAY AT ALL!

New York, I Love You

Most of the time films composed of several different vaguely interlocking storylines are pretty rubbish. Valentines Day, I’m looking at you! New York, I Love You is no work of cinematic brilliance and some of its storylines are less compelling than others. However if you can get past the initial dreadfulness of Hayden Christensen playing a con artist, there are some, really interesting themes being explored, especially around desire, and the cast is stellar. Look out for Natalie Portman as a Hasidic Jew in love with a devout Hindu and Orlando Bloom playing an Australian writer.

Did you ever get that feeling like you were being followed by a womble...


  1. How incredibly unawkward that we agree 😉 xx

  2. Jen

    Dude, come on! The best thing about Jonah Hex is obviously the fantastic Mr Fassbender 😛 But ugh. I don’t know what they were thinking when they made that film, it has absolutely no character development! It’s like they shot a first draft. It baffles me.

    Also Eat Pray Love fun fact – she was commissioned to write the book *before* she even went on her spiritual journey, which in my opinion puts some serious doubts on the integrity of the whole thing. But hey. Whatever shifts copies I guess!

abbiosbiston is listening...

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